I can't sleep

The Awe has a song I like
It is called Miserable Defections of.....

I don't understand why it draws me so.

Cafe Del Mar has a chillout album with Ambiant in G....totally moving.
Need the music to drive my mind.
Need to feel where I am.
All the questions of AM I REALLY HERE are popping up again.
I look into the past and see where I once was...scared, cold, nervous, lonely, in mental pain.

I defected.

I divorced.

I cried.

I can sit inside my home and be at peace. I can drive along the road and feel the changes in my life that are coming.

I am a little lost tonight.

My dreaming has been so very intense and real.
Where are we? Where are you?
Where am I?
Here? Or is it soon to be?

Wonder what I will feel as I drive in the morning......