Sunday, March 19, 2006

Whither thou come or stay

Thinking again about my place in life. I wonder how I would have been different in my life if I had chosen opposite of what I wanted.
Giving care and concern for another's well being can take a toll on ones own self. I so rarely take the time to be still. I am in a home that I truly enjoy the warmth of. It has peace and thought in it. Another Sanctuary but this home holds peace of mind.
It is soothing having a back yard to sit and look at. The trees dripping with golden and green energy of life. Rain cascading over items seeking the earth below. Seasons have a way of making me introspective. The changes do at least.
I have curiosity about how my children have taken the unknowing lessons that I taught them.
Was it the right thing? I do not know but I care. I have concerns that sometimes my unwillingness to work within society rules (God help me if I do :) I like using my brain and wit.) I always seem to buck the system somehow hoping for open awareness for needs and appropriate action to be lenient.
A wake up call I guess. "Hey! Did you think of this?"


I care that my children (including my niece as my own child) think about their choices openly and honestly with themselves. I weight too many decisions and reactions by who is involved.

Rarely have I been selfish enough to not care what the outcome could be. It has happened 3 times in my life.

46 years is a good length of time to get to know ones thought patterns. I have the belief that the Psychologist of the world are a lot like I am. Curious as to how a thought pattern developed. What are the underlying lessons and exposures to emotions? Why do we try to fix each other?

I am having fun with my life. I am not here to fix anyone but my own emotionally reactionary self.

I choose who I am and how I want to be each waking second and each dreaming moment becomes the formation of myself.

I like the dreams I have right now.

Travel

Love

Grandchildren

My Children enjoying their own adventures.

Circe

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