Home again Home again...jiggity jig

Got back last night from Austin. I really love that city :) Unfortunately my job doesn't allow for constant telecommutes :)

There are more friendly people there than I have EVER met in Dallas and I have been here since I was 5 & 1/2.
My daughter asked me when I was moving down with a huge smile on her face.
I am not, Honey Girl. My job unfortunately is in Dallas.

Doesn't stop me from searching. No longer tied down to a pseudo relationship that was all my own doing. Unrealized unconfirmed emotions that I set up for my own emotional hell and I FINALLY got it.

Too damn old to trust that scene again. It is amazing at how much love you can FEEL and see in a child's smile and attempts to converse.

Zephyr does NOT like for you to "make up words" to converse with him. He is gaining several words a day. This weekend I was in Austin to babysit him for my Daughter and Son in Law's 4th Anniversary. Considering they have been together for 10 years already... It was a rather calm but fun weekend. So cool that they enjoy cards and dominoes games. Scrabble was the hit last time. I LOVE scrabble!
I did really well with the dominoes and Jordan was the big winner at Uno!

I got to talk to my son, Jason, on the way down. He has a girlfriend and she sounds really nice! Even into gaming like he is. That means a lot! She is also attending college within her close proximity of home in FL. Jason is doing really well at school and at his job.

Jambalaya is getting huge :)

I am not sure I want to attend Myschievia. That is a first.
Thinking on it.
I know I am carrying a rider...but my main concern is MY emotional health.
PERIOD.

Home is where the heart is, isn't it?
I want to continue on my path of self reliance and sustainability. It may be that I end up having to work that weekend, too.
We went through a LOT of recent changes in my office and there were several that did not make the continued employment.

I find out today what the situation is at the office and then all decisions will be made.
I may end up moving ... I may end up staying.

Who knows?
Who besides me really cares anyway?

My children do that is for sure.

and again... yesterday as I was telling Zephyr "I love you" for his nap and my drive towards Dallas....

"Bye bye, Grannie love you" was clearly stated back.
God, he is growing fast. 20 months old and already has the brightest eyes of sky blue.
He has great understanding at his limited level of sharing heart felt love. He smiles and is entertained with laughter. He blinks so seriously at you when learning a new concept (read IE: potty training). His joy and applause at a job "well done!" and the delightful heart that sings when he is singing or drumming or laughing with you.

I know, it maybe grandmother syndrome but it is something I can say with great joy.
I did well raising my children. They are starting their own families now. They are showing love to themselves and to those that matter the most to them.
It was a wonderful walk and talk with Amanda and hearing the confirmation that she is glad to have her momma back again. "I was worried about you Momma. You were always in emotional trauma when with "him" and I am really glad to have you back and happy."

Yep, Kiddo,,,,, so am I. Glad to be me again.
It isn't that love isn't supposed to be in your life.


It is that love is supposed to be balanced and equal.