no matter where

I seem to always find myself. Sometimes lost and unsure of the next step. I have discovered that if I close my eyes, breathe deeply, relax, and let my desire to control events subside... all is calm and happy inside.

Most the time this works. But I tell you what....drivers that are aggressive with a vehicle I would LOVE to shoot out a tire on. Yes. I almost got run over in a PARKING garage this morning.

So with that said....
I love being in school learning something I want to learn.
It feels right. I am working on getting totally out of the Technology side of life. It is so not emotionally fulfilling.

Having my massage license in order is paramount to my moving towards Austin. Yep...I can't stand it. I want to be near my grandson and hopefully near another grandchild that may come to be in the future. I want to go to more outdoor rock climbing locations. I love Austin.

I have had enough wiht the hurts of Dallas and look forward to having time to play occasionally...sometime in my life. I have a very select few wonderful friends...REAL friends in Dallas. Already know they would not mind coming to Austin on their travels.
There are a lot of thinking and planning going on here right now.

Main goal": Finish school.
secondary goal : Move

I still will have a time however if Jason finds a lady to love in Florida and starts his family (if they do want kids) there. I can travel faster from Austin to FL than I can from DFW to FL...what is up with that?

otherwise.....

I have rearranged my bedroom adn my living room. I like it. I have dejunked a lot of things and there still seems to be more to dump.

ALL of my 'burn costumes" will be given away or trashed this weekend.
I have had enough of people that are to into partying and not real about the life they choose to live within. When I first started attending burns the atmosphere was very different. I don't mind drinking some...but gosh the IDIOTS that walk around so drunk that they cannot do anything but be an ass... they need to go away.

Had a man on the street the other day ( I was walking Jamba) damn near walk into me... he was walking with eyes closed adn reeked of alcohol.
Idiot.

Then a woman attending one of my classes...at lunch (7 pm at night) went and had drinks. This was 30 minute lunch. She then kept leaning into my arm during class.
BOUNDRY ISSUES. Tonight if she shows up she will be informed I have boundries and prefer she sit behind me not next to me.
Stupid Idiot.

I find that the older I get the less patient I am with outsiders. BM is not even the event it used to be aimed for. I only went to 1 BM in the Reno Desert...it was enough. The concepts and inspiration of having people join in and get along is now needing police and dogs at it. TOO many people that look at the week end or week long party.
I sound pissy and I get the impression I am not done with it.

there is little I find of interest lately except for school, my dog, my family. Yes some friends are family.

No matter where I end up in my demeanor... I know it will be good and right for me.

Yeah I miss loving someone and sharing my life with them..in hopes of a long future.
So far the people I have been involved with were a waste of effort to include in my life.

they do not care unless they can use you for something...anything

So sad to realize the need to isolate oneself is because I chose to change and do right for my health. Sad to know these people will die being an idiot.


wish I could sometimes wipe it from my memory.