In the flow

Now that has a different meaning at this time in my life. Letting go. The flow of another river that makes it's way to join other lands.
I have had years of having my children celebrate their birthdays with me. It is poignant. I can remember the days they each were born so clearly. Then I am looking at this adult that stands before me talking...reasoning...deciding.
There isn't dependence like an infant. There isn't a searching need for knowledge and love.

They know.

There is nothing more for me to teach them.
There is only pride in watching them make their decisions. Recognition that I did the very best I could.
Watching them as their turn at life unfolds.
It has been a treat having Jason here this week.
I snuck in and watched him sleep for a little while one night.
I remember how sweet he was in his sleep at 3. Now there is this man that is my baby laying there...snoring...breathing...and dreaming of his life. Cuddled up in the blankets.
My daughter hasn't spent the night since just before her wedding.
I watched her sleep too.
Her small sighs and then her turning her face to her hand.
Her brow that wrinkles as she figures out where her dream is leading her.

My children have been gifts of wonder, joy, sadness, frustration...and loads of laughter.

I never thought I was good enough.
This I did just fine.

I am looking forward to eating and playing with my kids on Sunday.

That is the best gift.

Circe