boundaries

even something as courteous as a "please" makes a huge difference with me. I smile and say hello with a smile to almost everyone I see. The ones I miss are because I am actively searching for something.
I also find that it is increasingly difficult to even have the time available to do what I need to do, then attempt to do something I want.

Not impatience, my dearest Marty, but actual time constraints.

I know animals take up lots of time. They are child like responsibilities. I also have the responsibility to myself to doing things that are healthy. I have responsibilities of school and paying for it along with wonderful gifts of friends and family support for my efforts.

I don't go out any more. I mean in doing events with acquaintances or dating someone. These are almost beginning to feel like intrusions. I know it sounds weird but it is only the 'feeling' in my body that I am dealing with right now.

I do not assume someone is going to be there (to help in listening to woes , doing things with me or telling me when I am being an ass) but it is nice to be able to ask if someone is willing to take time for me.

THAT is what my rant about time was for.
I am getting to the point that if you don't really want to engage your time or mental thoughts with me..... don't bother searching for me later.

I find the 4 walls I have here rather boring. I enjoy the mind and processing how I can improve on my reactions to emotional reactions is helpful but still rather just "alone". I have been seeing a lot more people of late. The ones that even if I don't talk to them for a while (2-3 months>) all of the sudden contact me....as long as I am not feeling pressured by them for an account of what is happening... I see to do great with!

I am only on a rant and wondering why the heck I am withdrawing so strongly.
I know I have changed a lot mentally and emotionally, recent events had a lot to do with it, but it is time to locate friends to go and do things with.

Do not look for me to sacrifice my time anymore.

I am important to me.