time time time....what's become of us?

It is simply amazing at how time can be speeding by before you can think about it...and other times it is so slow a Turtle can appear to speed right pass you.

Lately have seen the differences of my children growing up. I also get to look into a mirror and am pleased at my own progression in life :)

I still feel like a kid in my heart.
First time however that I have felt THIS calm about changes in my life.

I now live in a great HOME with a YARD and a GARAGE. I have 2 roommates that I adore. I am getting healthy finally.
My kids are healthy even though they have trails in their lives.

I wouldn't mind being a grandmother. (not a hint Amanda and Jordan but a recognition I am OKAY with being the age I am!)
I am starting to get out from underneath a heck of a lot of money issues....slowly but I am seeing daylight.

I remember being 16 and sitting in a tree just drawing, writing, and thinking.
There are a lot of thinking times I remember from my childhood and young adulthood.
Some of the memories are hard to deal with.
I have always enjoyed being outside. Felt more freedom outdoors than being locked in a room (school) with boring teachers that could only follow a lesson plan.

I still play a French Horn. Lucky family members remember all of my midnight practice sessions. :) It was fun!

My time to sit and think seems to proceed each night of sleep. I sit on my back porch and look up to the night time sky. Stars moon and clouds occasionally glisten down on me. I sit and think about where my head and heart is. I say my 'prayers' for those I know. I go over my reactions of the day. My personal emotional reactions to situations I have no control on and hopefully I see a better way to react to similar situations in the future.

I have concern for my family members and my friends. Seems that many friends are splitting up at this time. I hope that at the end they can still learn how to become friends.
I have 4 coupled friends going through similar issues. I have 3 long time friends that have recently gotten divorced. Scary world I think when learning to live openly with your emotions.

My ex-husband was right on one point.
I never gave him the opportunity to really know me.
Pity.
I think I may have had a good friendship after the divorce 11 (or is it 12?) years ago if I had been more open with my emotions and thoughts.

*sigh* to learn in the future. Cannot go back to the past except to view the lessons.

time again...
and timing is everything.