That is the title of the song that is playing at the moment in my den.
It repeats "I don't know why..."
Seems to be the theme of life right now.
I don't know why but it hurts me...all this damn emotion
all the hiding away I do
All the running
headlong into the wind
laughing
and then there is the quiet where I reflect on how open I want to be about my emotions.
Here we are world..
I am open.
I want a SERIOUS relationship.
Not ownership
but honesty in personal interaction and discussions.
Verbal
Physical
Mental
and yes... Spiritual
I have a man I am seeing.
We both know neither of us are "THE ONE" for each other but there is the willingness to explore the emotions of being dead honest in our relationship. I like it...
but it isn't enough.
I really don't like everyone knowing what I am thinking or staying away from thinking.
I miss my bestest friend horribly.
You listened when no one else could make sense of my scrabbled words and thoughts.
Now I am trying to make sense out of what I feel.
IT hurts.
But I have made it through hell before and this isn't hell.......
yet.
I don't know why I go through these things.
Why must I wish to be involved?
Why must I hurt?
Why aren't you here?
Friday, November 26, 2004
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1 comment:
Why aren't you allowing the experience of Human Emotion just glide through? I know, I know, easier said than done. You're doing fine momma...just remember something: when your able to start actually pin-pointing what it is you want instead of washing from one thing to another, you can the proceed on the path of making it happen. From that point you must dedicate your actions and thoughts in order to see it to fruition. Change of mind can happen, but not fear of commitment to a path. Once you go, go all the way; see to it that you map this path so as to re-tread it if the scenery was pleasing or avoid it if full of brambles that were of no use other than to serve as a challenge or something. Momma...at some point or another, you must commit to the experience and not flutter away into the wind when the play ebbs along. Don't be worried of the "don't know why's" you'll know why soon enough. Then you can sit back into the wind and laugh all the way home.
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