time is flying straight on by...
neither did it run away today
just the sun as it played in the field today
setting behind the clouds
hiding from my eyes
but not from my heart
sky light bright up in the clouds
dancing winds blowing as they will
tomorrow rains upon the earth
as nature lives on in never ending life
light is hiding in my eyes
and playing in my hands
it is a thought i had today
wanting more time and sitting still
time flew by so long lost now
and time is coming soon to be
curious i am at the queries i have
what if land was really the sea
time has rested in my mind
laughter in my heart
seeing all the children play
and feeling like i can fly
So...today it was thoughtful and full of words that I cannot make rhyme.
I talked with my mom today. It was a wonderful chat of my past and how I am today.
I think about my children and my life before today...all are great memories that will carry me on to the next thought.
Sounds a little weird doesn't it?
I do get stuck in my head at times. Even if I am in a crowded area I seem to always be thinking and looking for clues as to the next direction to go. There are a lot of things that I still wish to try and some things I have moved past.
I guess all in all I am just being me, past...present...and future unseen.
I love who I am and I try to be the best I can be each day. Sure there are faults that occur but that is how I learn to be better.
A message to my daughter.... learn not to be dependent on WHO likes you or is impressed by what you do or say.
YOU be impressed by who you are and your talents. To share those talents will be the best gift of your self to the world.
Over exaggeration is people pleasing.
I have dealt with, and sometimes STILL deal with, old routines and scripts of co dependency. The world seems to have that as a NEED as far a society goes.
There is wonderful talents in being self expressive and honest opinions.
I like looking through my eyes and heart at the world. It holds great beauty in everything.
I have lots of talents and lots of caring. The greatest gift is being happy with me.
A message to my son....life holds a lot of unexpected events. There are times that the surprises are not what you want to have, but we ALL set up the events in advance by choices we make in actions. Consequences are what comes from every choice we make. The ability to ask for insight and guidance when we are least willing to ask can make hard times a little clearer to be seen through. Family can help if even it is only listening to the frustrations.
Sometimes, my children, I feel like I did not teach you the right things. However, I taught you what I had to teach at the time. I know that your lives are very different than mine, but there are cross over similarities.
Always feel good about asking questions and asking for ideas to expand your own vision of your life.
Family will always be around for you to ask.
Family can help if you just talk and share what is going on.
Sometimes I think I do not do this to my best ability because I am usually 'way busy' and seem to always finding things to do.
I will tell you this though...I KNOW that when I pick up the phone or write a letter or walk up to my friends..that there are amazing pieces of information I can learn...all by talking.
This isn't meant as a lecture at all. It is a time that I felt I could write about things that have been in my mind. There are always times you can say
"Shu' up...my turn talk" just like Jason did at 3.
Love and kisses to all...
Light and laughter is wished even more.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Monday, October 25, 2004
Has it REALLY been 20 days?
Man! How time FLIES when there is fun to be had!
After the wedding there are ALL of these wonderful photos I keep receiving from friends and my baby sister, Jacque, gave us ALL a copy of a VHS of the wedding.
I cried while watching it and no one could see me do it!
I have been busy working. My day job has increased in some of the responsibilities. I keep thinking I am catching up and then it changes directions...so I try to multitask which NEVER really works.
I have backed off creating jewelry for a while. I have a few repairs to do... I would REALLY like to make a piece for me to enjoy wearing.
As most of you know...I recently celebrated my 45th birthday!
I have been SO spoiled by my friends and family!
I love getting flowers and received 2 WONDERFUL arrangements!
Mark Menowsky sent 4 roses of different colors and related how the colors represented different emotions. Very touching.
Amanda did the arrangement at her work in Whole Foods Market and ALSO gave me an arrangement of Orchids that are dyed a brilliant blue with purple centers....and there were 7 purple Dutch Irises included! BEAUTIFUL!
I received several cards that will stay up until the end of the month...as they should.
My son sang to me as did my friends and family. Unfortunately I had left my cell phone with my girlfriend Janelle!
Poor Janelle and her family got to hear my phone ring ALL NIGHT with the TRADITION of "who can call first after midnight!" :)
She didn't know how to turn off my phone ;)
LOL
I do get great enjoyment at knowing I was so well thought of that there were SO many calls.... hehehe. Payback is a bit hard to deal with at times...I lucked out this year! My girlfriend Antje gave me some very nice hiking boots so that I don't mess up my ankles anymore whie hiking and a beautiful skirt and a much needed running shirt! My dad and stepmom sent me a gift that was TOTALLY unexpected!
Thanks so much! I really had no expectation of a gift.
My daughter took me out for coffee also.
I had another girlfriend and her family cook me dinner, too. They sent me home with a Movie Gift and popcorn!
Oh I LOVE popcorn....
Bob, Sharon and Kassy tell me I have a raincheck for my birthday dinner with them.
I did go camping on the weekend of October 15th. Bob, Sharon, and little Miss Paige and I traveled to Palo Dura Canyon state park. My friend Red Spicer is the race director for a 20k, 50k, and 50 mile trail race. I could not run this year but will try for it next year!
My friends Lisa and Jeff did well in the race! I volunteered this year at the Two Moons aid station.
Paige got to ride her bike a lot and see a lot of things in the USA's 2nd largest Canyon. Palo Dura is BEAUTIFUL!
I have loads of pictures that I will be uploading a photo link to soon.
Well...soon is relative anyway.
I had a birthday cake given to me while we were camping...and I ALMOST broke my leg jumping out of my truck bed cause Bob was hollering at me to "MY GOD CIRCE! THE FIRE!
COME QUICK!"
I got there and everyone is smiling at me and start to sing Happy Birthday!
SO awesome!
I have a night job helping to great guests and check ID's at a friends club on some weekends. Then there is the NEW thing I am doing :)
Always something, isn't it?
There is a new establishment that my friends Kevin and Janelle are opening up called Absinthe Lounge. I am making mosaic tables for the bar. I will be going down on Wednesday nights and holding a community effort to involve the local artist in making some of the tables to. The Bar is decorated in Art nouveau style of 1910-20 and modern today fittings.
I really find that it is a very comfortable place to get to work with Artists. I hope of few of my friends will be willing to come and visit and maybe work on the table some! I actually have made a custom necklace for their grand opening.
I have ridden my bike a little. Not near as much as I wish I did.
I haven't been rock climbing in almost 2 months!
I plan on rectifying that on THURSDAY when my friend Cecil arrives from out of town and.
I talk with Marty a lot and he is doing really well!
He is counting down to his coming home too!
I have had another woman friend and her boyfriend do well after he donated a kidney to her. AWESOME!
Lots to write about and the discovery that there is too much to tell when doing this so sporadically.
I stay busy because I have discovered I have a LOT of very valuable friends. I am learning a lot of new things about myself too.
I can truly say I am HAPPY. Really happy at just being me.
I will write more later... It is WAY past bedtime!
kisses to all... and enlightening dreams.
After the wedding there are ALL of these wonderful photos I keep receiving from friends and my baby sister, Jacque, gave us ALL a copy of a VHS of the wedding.
I cried while watching it and no one could see me do it!
I have been busy working. My day job has increased in some of the responsibilities. I keep thinking I am catching up and then it changes directions...so I try to multitask which NEVER really works.
I have backed off creating jewelry for a while. I have a few repairs to do... I would REALLY like to make a piece for me to enjoy wearing.
As most of you know...I recently celebrated my 45th birthday!
I have been SO spoiled by my friends and family!
I love getting flowers and received 2 WONDERFUL arrangements!
Mark Menowsky sent 4 roses of different colors and related how the colors represented different emotions. Very touching.
Amanda did the arrangement at her work in Whole Foods Market and ALSO gave me an arrangement of Orchids that are dyed a brilliant blue with purple centers....and there were 7 purple Dutch Irises included! BEAUTIFUL!
I received several cards that will stay up until the end of the month...as they should.
My son sang to me as did my friends and family. Unfortunately I had left my cell phone with my girlfriend Janelle!
Poor Janelle and her family got to hear my phone ring ALL NIGHT with the TRADITION of "who can call first after midnight!" :)
She didn't know how to turn off my phone ;)
LOL
I do get great enjoyment at knowing I was so well thought of that there were SO many calls.... hehehe. Payback is a bit hard to deal with at times...I lucked out this year! My girlfriend Antje gave me some very nice hiking boots so that I don't mess up my ankles anymore whie hiking and a beautiful skirt and a much needed running shirt! My dad and stepmom sent me a gift that was TOTALLY unexpected!
Thanks so much! I really had no expectation of a gift.
My daughter took me out for coffee also.
I had another girlfriend and her family cook me dinner, too. They sent me home with a Movie Gift and popcorn!
Oh I LOVE popcorn....
Bob, Sharon and Kassy tell me I have a raincheck for my birthday dinner with them.
I did go camping on the weekend of October 15th. Bob, Sharon, and little Miss Paige and I traveled to Palo Dura Canyon state park. My friend Red Spicer is the race director for a 20k, 50k, and 50 mile trail race. I could not run this year but will try for it next year!
My friends Lisa and Jeff did well in the race! I volunteered this year at the Two Moons aid station.
Paige got to ride her bike a lot and see a lot of things in the USA's 2nd largest Canyon. Palo Dura is BEAUTIFUL!
I have loads of pictures that I will be uploading a photo link to soon.
Well...soon is relative anyway.
I had a birthday cake given to me while we were camping...and I ALMOST broke my leg jumping out of my truck bed cause Bob was hollering at me to "MY GOD CIRCE! THE FIRE!
COME QUICK!"
I got there and everyone is smiling at me and start to sing Happy Birthday!
SO awesome!
I have a night job helping to great guests and check ID's at a friends club on some weekends. Then there is the NEW thing I am doing :)
Always something, isn't it?
There is a new establishment that my friends Kevin and Janelle are opening up called Absinthe Lounge. I am making mosaic tables for the bar. I will be going down on Wednesday nights and holding a community effort to involve the local artist in making some of the tables to. The Bar is decorated in Art nouveau style of 1910-20 and modern today fittings.
I really find that it is a very comfortable place to get to work with Artists. I hope of few of my friends will be willing to come and visit and maybe work on the table some! I actually have made a custom necklace for their grand opening.
I have ridden my bike a little. Not near as much as I wish I did.
I haven't been rock climbing in almost 2 months!
I plan on rectifying that on THURSDAY when my friend Cecil arrives from out of town and.
I talk with Marty a lot and he is doing really well!
He is counting down to his coming home too!
I have had another woman friend and her boyfriend do well after he donated a kidney to her. AWESOME!
Lots to write about and the discovery that there is too much to tell when doing this so sporadically.
I stay busy because I have discovered I have a LOT of very valuable friends. I am learning a lot of new things about myself too.
I can truly say I am HAPPY. Really happy at just being me.
I will write more later... It is WAY past bedtime!
kisses to all... and enlightening dreams.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
2 days after THE event
It is completed. Wonderful, magical, ethereal, serene, and spiritual. So many words cannot describe the feeling that I had about my daughter and Son-in-laws wedding.
I am SO happy that the event of her life (so far mind you) is completed. It was stressful at times only because I wanted to do more for them. There were many friends and family that graced us with their laughter, their 'ooohhhsss' and 'aaahhhsss', the hugs and kisses, and the warmth of smiling faces.
There is this overall tiredness at the moment...and a fun recognition of having to change all my info on Amanda to have her new last name instead of her 'maiden' name.
Wow....what a trip.
I can appreciate the effort that goes into planning a wedding. I watched my daughter tackle something she had never done before and the addition of items that were used in the ceremony and reception are used to enhance her home. Waste not want not.
I am REALLY glad it is over. I can start having my life of activities again!
I am really glad I have only the ONE daughter. My Son will receive equal time investment also when he chooses to share his life with a woman. I cannot do less.
I have come to realize that there are times that I may act a little inappropriately, but I am just being me. Whole heartedly me. I find I held no anger nor judgment about the whole affair. It may have sounded, at times, that I did. I was trying to think of all the 'traditional' stuff...and I never even went through this kinda thing!
I was married at the JP. That was fine.
No big deal. The only stress I had was if I was going to freak out and run when the words " Do you take..." ended up with a "NO!" answer from either of us. It happened however with yes on both sides.
Stephen looked SO proud walking Amanda down the aisle. I told him as I handed Amanda to him, just before I came down the aisle to sit in my 'mother place', that he and Amanda looked very beautiful and regal in the situation. I actually was told that I also looked beautiful. I know I saw a tear in his eye as he looked at our daughter. It was the SAME look he had in his eye when he first saw her and held her in his hands at her birth. Wonderment and awe. Stephen and I produced wonderful children together. They are both kind hearted and independent. Intelligence runs in both their brains and stubbornness in their wills. They are very creative in each of their talents. They are both wonderful conversationalist in their own fields.
Can you tell that I am PROUD of my children?
Hmm...
okay, enough.
This is supposed to be a journal for ME.
and the next subjects I write will be for sure.
Right now I am basking in the afterglow....
I am SO happy that the event of her life (so far mind you) is completed. It was stressful at times only because I wanted to do more for them. There were many friends and family that graced us with their laughter, their 'ooohhhsss' and 'aaahhhsss', the hugs and kisses, and the warmth of smiling faces.
There is this overall tiredness at the moment...and a fun recognition of having to change all my info on Amanda to have her new last name instead of her 'maiden' name.
Wow....what a trip.
I can appreciate the effort that goes into planning a wedding. I watched my daughter tackle something she had never done before and the addition of items that were used in the ceremony and reception are used to enhance her home. Waste not want not.
I am REALLY glad it is over. I can start having my life of activities again!
I am really glad I have only the ONE daughter. My Son will receive equal time investment also when he chooses to share his life with a woman. I cannot do less.
I have come to realize that there are times that I may act a little inappropriately, but I am just being me. Whole heartedly me. I find I held no anger nor judgment about the whole affair. It may have sounded, at times, that I did. I was trying to think of all the 'traditional' stuff...and I never even went through this kinda thing!
I was married at the JP. That was fine.
No big deal. The only stress I had was if I was going to freak out and run when the words " Do you take..." ended up with a "NO!" answer from either of us. It happened however with yes on both sides.
Stephen looked SO proud walking Amanda down the aisle. I told him as I handed Amanda to him, just before I came down the aisle to sit in my 'mother place', that he and Amanda looked very beautiful and regal in the situation. I actually was told that I also looked beautiful. I know I saw a tear in his eye as he looked at our daughter. It was the SAME look he had in his eye when he first saw her and held her in his hands at her birth. Wonderment and awe. Stephen and I produced wonderful children together. They are both kind hearted and independent. Intelligence runs in both their brains and stubbornness in their wills. They are very creative in each of their talents. They are both wonderful conversationalist in their own fields.
Can you tell that I am PROUD of my children?
Hmm...
okay, enough.
This is supposed to be a journal for ME.
and the next subjects I write will be for sure.
Right now I am basking in the afterglow....
Monday, October 04, 2004
Into each others eyes....
I am creating a WEDLOG...a blog of my Daughters' wedding on Oct 3, 2004. Please visit the link "Into each others eyes..."
Thanks....
This is a picture that my dad took as the Bride and Groom took off from the reception. I will tell you this...there was happiness in everyones eyes at this marriage!
Thanks....
This is a picture that my dad took as the Bride and Groom took off from the reception. I will tell you this...there was happiness in everyones eyes at this marriage!
Friday, October 01, 2004
A night feeling...
Tis quiet in the air this night
Thick with change
and the clouds that breath close to the ground
The sound of the creatures
Humming and conversation flowing
all between the natures of life
Moon, she dances slowly in her rotation
Silken veils of stars that swirl
while all is in motion in distances beyond sight
I stand still just to feel
Peaceful, not moving,
just to breath in my life
Dreams will come with this night
Leading me to those I love
counting on the hearts that feel my pleasure
Tis quiet in the air this night
Lightened by my changes
and the clouds lifting as they breath towards the sky
Circe
(I bet you didn't know I wrote poetry!)
It is amazing what you experience when staying up WAY to late at night.
and remember this....
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways, cigar in one hand, favorite beverage in the other,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming
"WOO WOO!! - What a Ride!"
Thick with change
and the clouds that breath close to the ground
The sound of the creatures
Humming and conversation flowing
all between the natures of life
Moon, she dances slowly in her rotation
Silken veils of stars that swirl
while all is in motion in distances beyond sight
I stand still just to feel
Peaceful, not moving,
just to breath in my life
Dreams will come with this night
Leading me to those I love
counting on the hearts that feel my pleasure
Tis quiet in the air this night
Lightened by my changes
and the clouds lifting as they breath towards the sky
Circe
(I bet you didn't know I wrote poetry!)
It is amazing what you experience when staying up WAY to late at night.
and remember this....
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways, cigar in one hand, favorite beverage in the other,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming
"WOO WOO!! - What a Ride!"
Down to the wire
It is late Thursday evening. ALMOST Friday.
Went and bought a few more things for the wedding today. Tomorrow is the shopping with the caterer and then doing some bird seed bags.
My son, Jason, will arrive to spend the weekend too!
YIPEE!!!!
Amanda is coming here after dinner with the FUTURE in laws and then to help with a few things here.
Gotta take a beautiful wedding dress to the cleaners and have it pressed, find a bra I can wear with my dress...dang it...and then paint my nails for the wedding.
Saturday is the mad rush to check the finals on the cake by Francisco Teng, do Amanda's and the girls nails, visit-laugh-talk with all the kids...and then sleep.
I am thrilled that it is to be cool weather here for the wedding day.
74 degrees!
The leaves are turning colors now.
I hope to have pictures of the girls and will post them, as silly as they may be, for all to see the fun!
I am so happy that this day is something I will never forget.
To see the hapiness in my daughters eyes is truly wonderful.
Her dad, Stephen, is making the wedding rings for Amanda and Jordan.
They will be stunning as he is the best jeweler I know of in Dallas. A very talented man.
Looking forward to time to write it all down...later when it is quiet.
G'night my family and friends.
Peaceful and Enlightening dreams to you all.
Went and bought a few more things for the wedding today. Tomorrow is the shopping with the caterer and then doing some bird seed bags.
My son, Jason, will arrive to spend the weekend too!
YIPEE!!!!
Amanda is coming here after dinner with the FUTURE in laws and then to help with a few things here.
Gotta take a beautiful wedding dress to the cleaners and have it pressed, find a bra I can wear with my dress...dang it...and then paint my nails for the wedding.
Saturday is the mad rush to check the finals on the cake by Francisco Teng, do Amanda's and the girls nails, visit-laugh-talk with all the kids...and then sleep.
I am thrilled that it is to be cool weather here for the wedding day.
74 degrees!
The leaves are turning colors now.
I hope to have pictures of the girls and will post them, as silly as they may be, for all to see the fun!
I am so happy that this day is something I will never forget.
To see the hapiness in my daughters eyes is truly wonderful.
Her dad, Stephen, is making the wedding rings for Amanda and Jordan.
They will be stunning as he is the best jeweler I know of in Dallas. A very talented man.
Looking forward to time to write it all down...later when it is quiet.
G'night my family and friends.
Peaceful and Enlightening dreams to you all.
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