Music

Dancing at will when the sounds hit my skin....
spinning the wheels of mind and matter.
I came upon a moment so still that movement became thunder.
Freely I moved with my heart and ears.
Twisting to sounds and filling with laughter.

Silence became and stillness was moments later.
Carried in mind and wheeled away.
Spinning to a frozen moment in time.

Remembered.

@}-- Circe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes I cannot sit still and not move to music. I went to work out with a girlfriend, Regina, tonight. It was a blast!
Worked on the stationary bikes tonight. Regina has hurt her foot and we didn't want to stress that (so like a bicycle is smart?) I got to use my iPod for the first time in a god and easy manner.
:)
Yep, it has come to pass that I was a receiver of an iPod.
I am so totally spoiled. LOVE IT! (borrowed phrase from my niece, Chandra)

It took riding a stationary bike to a new dimension. I freaking ROCKED on it! never felt bored or wanting to stop.
It was WONDERFUL!
I ended up practicing belly dancing on it too :)
Imagine pedaling as fast and hard as you can and wiggle at the same time.
It's like playing twister on wheels...a unicycle at that! :)~~
I had a blast listening to MY music and feeling it and feeling myself breathing easily. It has been a long time since I have been able to do that. I am glad my office had the membership drive. I had a membership already but found out I have a really nice plan!
A great thing considering I wanted to really get busy and get the last of this weight off.
It has been a long slow path but I think it is the best.
I don't have that far to go now. :)

It was fun looking at Regina and the slight competitiveness we had was fun. Then we each zoned into ourselves but knew the other was there too. I seldom do things with girlfriends. I have so very few of them. I tend to have a lot of male friends. Maybe because of the sports I like to do or because I am more active than a lot of women that I do know. (At my age, sweethearts)
It just was fun tonight. I want to do this more often. Regina and I plan on it.
It would be wonderful if I could get Kassy to join in. She has been trying a new career path and WOW is she gonna have fun with it! I wonder if Antje would join in on this?
I know...it is in a gym. But the variety of equipment for isolation of particular muscle groups while not causing injury to damaged tendons is tremendous. I think I need to call Antje tomorrow :)

It was fun. It can be enjoyed more than once a week. I can be ready in October 2007 for the Palo Dura Canyon Race. I have run the 25k in 3.56 (yeah it was slow...but I also had an asthma attack during it and kept going) and would really prefer to do the 25k in 2 hours or less. I would love it in 3 hours or less :)
I just want to be able to do the race again.
I miss being really active. I miss really riding my bike. I miss being outdoors and I want to change my job.

LOL
yep...here I go again.

Should have a response by the end of next week as to if I can be tested as is for licensing in massage. If not
then I get to start figuring out a way to afford classes :)

I really am tired of the tech support scene.
Don't get me wrong, I love WHAT I do...just not the pressure that is associated to it.

I enjoy seeing people relax and feel good. I feel good also. What a wonderful health mechanism!
Momma was right in always teaching me to not fear what I felt but to allow it to flow to the next person. Healing touch and healing words.


My Mamma's birthday is very soon. I really want to see her. Kinda hard for me to get away right now. I miss her a lot when I think along my drives to work. I used to call her a lot when I was on my way because it was the most silent and wonderful time of the day for me. Traffic was easy and no stress about arrival time.
It has been my habit since a small child (remember those patterns) to always want to talk when everyone else is asleep.

I love it :)

To hear my Mamma's sleepy voice reminds me of when I was a little girl coming to her from a disturbance in my dreams. Her voice, sleepy sounding, was a comfort because she was THERE. She listened as I talked of what my mind had reached for. She would listen and sing me to sleep if I needed it. She was there and awoken at my call.
She was there.

I will always remember that, Momma.

I enjoy talking to all of my family. This month is special because of a dear friends birthday (Brian Gagnon - my fav straight up boo) and my Momma.

I gotta get you two to met! What a HOOT!!! Who will talk the most I wonder?

just teasing my dearest ones......honestly LOL


My bestest friend is getting ready to go to Korea again. He is SUCH a great teacher. His adoration and inspiration to kids is a true delight to witness.
Hey...I am gonna be a grandparent before you are!
hehehe
An ongoing contest that my daughter has provided me with a win on.
I want my Fogo D'Chow, Marty.

I am so full of "spit an vinegar" today.

LOVE IT!

Thinking about it

My niece FINALLY got to feel Zephyr move!
We were at the Original Pancake House in Addison. Breakfast for the girls and the grandson-to-be. DELICIOUS morning!

I know I am excited about my grandson-to-be. I love children and always have.
I am in a time of my life that I love also.
I am not responsible for anyone else but me. I look forward very much to helping my daughter when she NEEDS me to. That is the limit though.
NEED. Amanda and Jordan please remember I love you both so very much and I am having FUN remembering my pregnancies with Amanda. I do not relate my stories though except when they are funny. It is a wonderful time in your lives. It is full of wonderfully stupid things :) When you need me call and I will do my best!

Yes, I am enthusiastic.... in a pixie sorta way.
I do that with a LOT of people and events!

I will not be driving you crazy about the grandson.
He will be MUCH more fun later on :)

I can wait.
I can teach him how to run, scream and laugh.
or
maybe he will teach me how to have more fun with it all!

I think this is a wonderful time in your lives.
I am excited WITH you!

Laugh Amanda..
You KNEW I would respond ;)

Recognition of my pattern

To be standing there in the dark.
Hearing old voices in the brain and its echo of time.
I could see what happened. Remember how I felt at that moment.
But for the first time, I could sense what the other person felt. A dream? No. It is a time displacement for me to see that event. The feelings that have triggered my reactions from that moment on. Memory.

I wonder if the reason for my pattern will also be made unreasonable in my life. I like that choice.
It scares me though. Emotionally scares me.
What if?
and of course
Why not?

All a matter of timing.

Just like seeing my pattern. It is time.


Change
Growth
Laughter
and maybe

Love

kinda like....

a need to feel comforted.

Child and Mother spending precious time together and both have so much to say. Limited precious time. It is kinda like ....surreal. Verbal limitations are heard all around us but I hear something different.
I hear the sound of freedom and joy coming.
Laughter.
Zephyr is precious already in my heart. I am so spoiled about getting to touch my daughter in healing massages. She needs the relaxation and the "momma touch" right now.
It can be a bit overwhelming to feel all of this in such a short span of time. I remember how I felt.
I listen to Amanda and help her in ways I wish I had been given. That is what is so very important to me. Human touch and comfort. Feeling safe and cared for. I am lucky to get to play with Zephyr before he arrives. He will be used to the hand motions that I will teach Amanda.

Hehehe
Maybe Jordan will finally get to see that Amanda CAN have the strength to do what I do. ;) He deserves that. Amanda deserves that also.

It is a wonderful gift in family closeness. Time spent on touching each other. Hugs...kisses...holding hands...tickle fights (my personal favorite!)...and naps spent curled up and spooned together all in a row.
Kinda like...
a peaceful heart.

Yeah...that's it.
A VERY PEACEFUL HEART

A most wonderful day

Yes, the week/month/year has been a bit overwhelming.

The bright spot this past week was seeing my grandson yawn.
I went to the doctor with Amanda on Thursday the 26th. I got to talk to the doctor and the nurses. I was allowed in the sonogram room too! (Amanda was right...a very cramped area!) It was so cool hearing his heart beating again (144 BPM) and seeing the sonogram as it occurred. Seeing his little foot, his spine, his heart beating and his lungs "practicing" breathing.
Then he turned his face to the camera and opened his little mouth wide and yawned.
It was totally sweet watching his face crunch up. He then stuck his tongue out :)

Oddly enough, he looks like Jason did to me in his sonogram. Today's photo sessions however are very detailed compared to the pictures I got to have.

And no....I will never part with them until I die.

The memories came flooding in. Suddenly I was in the hospital with them doing an X-Ray to see Amanda. I was just as pleased to see Zephyr turning as I was at seeing Amanda doing flips at 3 months. I was not as far along as the doctor thought I was.
Amanda and Jordan are getting ready for their son to arrive and now I wait again. :)

Discovered also in the visit that Zephyr will be a big baby. The measurements of his head and thigh give good indication he may weight 9 lbs at birth.
This is HUGE for Amanda.
I think she will deliver just fine though. She has proven time and again she is tougher than she looks.
Amanda is not wanting to use medication but to deliver naturally. I am proud of the choice! He will deliver easier without the drugs. I get to be the masseuse mom during the delivery!

GO MOMMA!!!!!!

I love this...I am so excited and the Baby Shower is this Saturday, too!


I am really excited :)