You get back up
awesome video on YouTube
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
it's amazing
So unlike me to just stand still.
:)
Many know this of me. Constant change and learning and extremes of emotion.
I am HAPPY though right now.
I don't know if I CAN resign a lease on my apartment because I do not have a job lined up yet for after February. I have school set to go. (thank you Bob Klug for assisting me in registration.)
I actually was able to do some Christmas shopping and I am pleased that I stuck to a strict budget. Even though I saw more "things" I stuck with what I thought was needed..... except one gift for Zephyr :)
My bestest friend in the world, Marty, has become a grandfather! WOOT!!! The twin girls are 2 months premature but breathing on their own and doing well. Mom and Dad are well, also.
I am trying to stay sane at the office. Not easy when I see all the stress that is going into support of a product that they have too few people to work on it. I really feel for one manager that took the offer to move to MA. He will be very lost on the product for a few months. He was on the other side of the tech support. Now he is trying as fast as he can to learn what I do. It took 6 months to get a grasp of what I do....and that was a hard learning curve.
My parents are all well...at this moment. :)
My son is doing good in college and has NO idea of how proud of him I am. He has grown tremendously in attitude and in determination.
My daughter is awesome in her life as teh breadwinner and a mom.
My niece is in her own apartment again! I am proud at how she has survived some really hard choices in her life.
My dog is still growing! He is doing well at commands though and soon I will have a blast letting him run the trails while I ride my bike with others.
So far we ride/run solo because he gets distracted a bit. :)
Such a child ;)
Christmas is gonna be okay. I get to have Zephyr spend a night with me over the holidays and then I return him to his parents.
A most amazing gift of friendship: My truck needs some more repairs but I cannot afford to do it. (transmission this time) My friends Robin and Keith have loaned me a truck until I can get my truck fixed! Awesome. Safe to drive. Fabulous loan. :) I will feel very safe traveling with Zephyr now. I think he will LOVE the sun roof! My friend Joe gave me a digital picture frame and I have ALL of the kids on it.
Nice to just sit and watch the pictures change. Nice to remember all the times.
I received a TON of pre-cut material for quilts to be made too!
I have projects and things to do. I look forward to clearing up more "junk" in my life.
Amazing... I sing all the time now and I don't sound half bad to myself!
I know people are into the gift thing at Christmas.
Me?
I like to see the surprise on a face to see how hard I thought on them and what was NEEDED.
Okay..... there were a couple of "they really wanted..."
I am happy and calm. Best thing I have felt in 3 years.
:)
Many know this of me. Constant change and learning and extremes of emotion.
I am HAPPY though right now.
I don't know if I CAN resign a lease on my apartment because I do not have a job lined up yet for after February. I have school set to go. (thank you Bob Klug for assisting me in registration.)
I actually was able to do some Christmas shopping and I am pleased that I stuck to a strict budget. Even though I saw more "things" I stuck with what I thought was needed..... except one gift for Zephyr :)
My bestest friend in the world, Marty, has become a grandfather! WOOT!!! The twin girls are 2 months premature but breathing on their own and doing well. Mom and Dad are well, also.
I am trying to stay sane at the office. Not easy when I see all the stress that is going into support of a product that they have too few people to work on it. I really feel for one manager that took the offer to move to MA. He will be very lost on the product for a few months. He was on the other side of the tech support. Now he is trying as fast as he can to learn what I do. It took 6 months to get a grasp of what I do....and that was a hard learning curve.
My parents are all well...at this moment. :)
My son is doing good in college and has NO idea of how proud of him I am. He has grown tremendously in attitude and in determination.
My daughter is awesome in her life as teh breadwinner and a mom.
My niece is in her own apartment again! I am proud at how she has survived some really hard choices in her life.
My dog is still growing! He is doing well at commands though and soon I will have a blast letting him run the trails while I ride my bike with others.
So far we ride/run solo because he gets distracted a bit. :)
Such a child ;)
Christmas is gonna be okay. I get to have Zephyr spend a night with me over the holidays and then I return him to his parents.
A most amazing gift of friendship: My truck needs some more repairs but I cannot afford to do it. (transmission this time) My friends Robin and Keith have loaned me a truck until I can get my truck fixed! Awesome. Safe to drive. Fabulous loan. :) I will feel very safe traveling with Zephyr now. I think he will LOVE the sun roof! My friend Joe gave me a digital picture frame and I have ALL of the kids on it.
Nice to just sit and watch the pictures change. Nice to remember all the times.
I received a TON of pre-cut material for quilts to be made too!
I have projects and things to do. I look forward to clearing up more "junk" in my life.
Amazing... I sing all the time now and I don't sound half bad to myself!
I know people are into the gift thing at Christmas.
Me?
I like to see the surprise on a face to see how hard I thought on them and what was NEEDED.
Okay..... there were a couple of "they really wanted..."
I am happy and calm. Best thing I have felt in 3 years.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
LOL
what else can you do?
Time slips up on me so fast of late.
Yes, there are concerns about how to deal with some of the events coming my way....but a man I have met at my job gave me some wonderful advice...
"Sometimes the best avenue to follow is to just laugh."
It has eased some of the tensions.
I am concerned that because I have worked so much lately catching up and taking care of bills from the first half of the non working year that I am not able to finish my hand made items for Christmas....so odd things will be purchased...and I will send the hand made things on as I can.
TO EVERYONE...
I am concerned that on Feb 29th I will be unemployed again. I have already started looking and interviewing....and my truck keeps breaking...which has become a stress point that is unbelievable.
I can't do a whole lot but work as it comes right now.
Learning learning learning is what I want to do. Currently attempting to get some funding to get to the classes I so desperately need to change my career. I want to do my massage full time and I want to specialize it for the medical field. Seems fairly solid to go the medical career direction. I know that there are classes starting soon.... I hope I can get the funding together (looking into school loans for this too!).
Jambalaya loves the cold weather! My ski clothes have come in handy lately :) I have some kick-ass memories of learning to ski and going skiing with dearly loved friends....and deeply missed friends. A few wonderful pictures are in that, too.
It always makes me smile when I go through my pictures.
I guess not many really know what all I do in my life. I decided to make a hell of a change in it and I withdrew....Yes, Marty, I am fine. I needed to move away from those folks that sent my emotions into roller coaster rides. I do miss a very select few....but they have no further 'need' of my presence in their lives either.
I am calm and I smile a lot now. I even caught myself singing again :)
I look forward to seeing my kids and my grandson.
I don't stay long in too many places unless I feel balanced. Even visiting my exhusband and his wife Toni is not too bad :) I enjoy the conversations and watching them interact together is a fascinating entertainment! They are truly "cute" together.
I have worries but so far I know that it is because I have no control on the outcome of others decisions.
If I feel insecure about a situation or find myself wanting to be angry for some unknown unbalanced way, I don't stick around or I don't go.
So far that has been only 3 times in the last 4 months.
That is not a bad average if you ask me.
I walk Jambalaya almost every night with a nice guy lately. He moved into the apartment complex a few months ago. It is nice talking to him. He is actually younger than me...
by 27 days! LOL
Linda and I walk often, too. I have been reading a tremendous amount because it is free or very cheap to do. My TV is about to die so that movies from my apartment office will no longer be viewed as often. We shall see what the New Year brings in for me. I ride my bike solo again and Jambalaya is getting pretty good at following along.
LOL
I haven't been taken into the Trinity River at least. Pahsha was famous for doing that with me :)
LOL
I gotta get ready for work to end and say good bye to some very interesting people.
Maybe one or two will stay in touch. Maybe.
LOL
Time to get things sealed for my Christmas. I like looking at how others have decorated.
ME? No decorations. Not many come to visit me. It is okay though... I am getting more stuff that is never used out of my little location. Maybe easier to move if I have to after January and I determine If I can afford to keep my apartment.
LOL
God knows I don't enjoy moving anymore....
But look kids!
I AM smiling though.
I have enjoyed reading the most. My daughter has started writing again on her blog and it is so very interesting at her ability to write and see the workings of her world. A couple of friends (real friends) have asked me why she doesn't write professionally. I dunno. Maybe it is because her views are honestly what she sees....not trying to convince others how to see. She is talented in several ways.
My son is amazing :) He is doing GREAT in college that he is paying for! Learning how to deal with his life and making progress in living. HE simple makes me comfortable. Loved.
My niece, Chandra is getting on with her life nicely. Don't see or her from her much but that was to be expected :) She has her new home and a new boy in her life.
LOL
It seems that life will always move forward while I watch to see how time changes everything.
Time slips up on me so fast of late.
Yes, there are concerns about how to deal with some of the events coming my way....but a man I have met at my job gave me some wonderful advice...
"Sometimes the best avenue to follow is to just laugh."
It has eased some of the tensions.
I am concerned that because I have worked so much lately catching up and taking care of bills from the first half of the non working year that I am not able to finish my hand made items for Christmas....so odd things will be purchased...and I will send the hand made things on as I can.
TO EVERYONE...
I am concerned that on Feb 29th I will be unemployed again. I have already started looking and interviewing....and my truck keeps breaking...which has become a stress point that is unbelievable.
I can't do a whole lot but work as it comes right now.
Learning learning learning is what I want to do. Currently attempting to get some funding to get to the classes I so desperately need to change my career. I want to do my massage full time and I want to specialize it for the medical field. Seems fairly solid to go the medical career direction. I know that there are classes starting soon.... I hope I can get the funding together (looking into school loans for this too!).
Jambalaya loves the cold weather! My ski clothes have come in handy lately :) I have some kick-ass memories of learning to ski and going skiing with dearly loved friends....and deeply missed friends. A few wonderful pictures are in that, too.
It always makes me smile when I go through my pictures.
I guess not many really know what all I do in my life. I decided to make a hell of a change in it and I withdrew....Yes, Marty, I am fine. I needed to move away from those folks that sent my emotions into roller coaster rides. I do miss a very select few....but they have no further 'need' of my presence in their lives either.
I am calm and I smile a lot now. I even caught myself singing again :)
I look forward to seeing my kids and my grandson.
I don't stay long in too many places unless I feel balanced. Even visiting my exhusband and his wife Toni is not too bad :) I enjoy the conversations and watching them interact together is a fascinating entertainment! They are truly "cute" together.
I have worries but so far I know that it is because I have no control on the outcome of others decisions.
If I feel insecure about a situation or find myself wanting to be angry for some unknown unbalanced way, I don't stick around or I don't go.
So far that has been only 3 times in the last 4 months.
That is not a bad average if you ask me.
I walk Jambalaya almost every night with a nice guy lately. He moved into the apartment complex a few months ago. It is nice talking to him. He is actually younger than me...
by 27 days! LOL
Linda and I walk often, too. I have been reading a tremendous amount because it is free or very cheap to do. My TV is about to die so that movies from my apartment office will no longer be viewed as often. We shall see what the New Year brings in for me. I ride my bike solo again and Jambalaya is getting pretty good at following along.
LOL
I haven't been taken into the Trinity River at least. Pahsha was famous for doing that with me :)
LOL
I gotta get ready for work to end and say good bye to some very interesting people.
Maybe one or two will stay in touch. Maybe.
LOL
Time to get things sealed for my Christmas. I like looking at how others have decorated.
ME? No decorations. Not many come to visit me. It is okay though... I am getting more stuff that is never used out of my little location. Maybe easier to move if I have to after January and I determine If I can afford to keep my apartment.
LOL
God knows I don't enjoy moving anymore....
But look kids!
I AM smiling though.
I have enjoyed reading the most. My daughter has started writing again on her blog and it is so very interesting at her ability to write and see the workings of her world. A couple of friends (real friends) have asked me why she doesn't write professionally. I dunno. Maybe it is because her views are honestly what she sees....not trying to convince others how to see. She is talented in several ways.
My son is amazing :) He is doing GREAT in college that he is paying for! Learning how to deal with his life and making progress in living. HE simple makes me comfortable. Loved.
My niece, Chandra is getting on with her life nicely. Don't see or her from her much but that was to be expected :) She has her new home and a new boy in her life.
LOL
It seems that life will always move forward while I watch to see how time changes everything.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
where oh where has my little dog gone....
because he is HUGIFEROUS!!!
Yep, Jambalaya turned 1 on November 1st. God, a Scorpio temperament as such as I have never dealt with :)
Actually he does remind me of Leslie in a lot of ways.
He will bring me all kinds of toys. He is protective to a point but pretty happy when on an adventure. He is a tad skittish of strangers...today he actually growled a little at one of my neighbors. She is gay and rides a motorcycle. He did sniff her though. THAT is a start :)
Soon as she tosses a ball for him he will be fine :)
70+ pounds he is now. We were walking yesterday morning. Slow walk because I have been sick as sin since Thursday night. Feeling better today (thank you for asking, by the way)
Anyway... we were walking on the back side of the apartment complex along this retaining wall (Jamba insists on walking on top of it) and POOF* he takes of right and I follow with feet flying in the air.
All I could do was do a push up to get my hips under me instead of being bent on the retaining wall. Sit upright and start laughing.
It has been a long while since A) I was so weak that my dog could pull me that hard B) musta been a sight to see me flying off my feet with Jamba chasing a squirrel and C) I laughed that hard.
I did do a little testing on Jambalaya's pull-ability
HE can do a hard pull of 150 lbs. That is a HUGE amount for me to control at times. I have learned to not have a lead attached to me on my bike :)
Jambalaya does really well following (sorta ziggy zaggy) ...okay, he likes to lead. Trust me when he is tired he will stop. Sit in the middle of the trail and stare at me in my eyes like "you CRAZY old woman! STOP!!!" After a few minutes he is ready to run again. :)
He cuddles me at night safely guarding my feet and knees from hidden night dangers. Sometimes I hear him sigh deeply like I do....ahhh, FINALLY sleeping! Then he gets down and rests on his bed. I think it is so he can look out the window at night to make sure the local area is safe.
Jambalaya LOVES Zephyr very much! Z will chase him and they play tag. So far, Jamba has not knocked him over which WILL be a site to see :) Zephyr will let Jamba kiss him for a little while...then he is off running and chasing the dog again :) Z loves to hug and pet Jambalaya. Jambalaya tries to approach all the kids he sees...looking for a fun time and pets and rubs. He is big though and it scares some little ones that have not been raised with dogs.
Steve and Toni are bring Z home today with them for a little "pre-visit" on the holiday. I hope that there is a way that I get to see him, too. Jambalaya needs his boy time, too. I cannot take Jambalaya over there to Steve and Toni's. They have 3 adorable kitty cats and their home could not deal with Jambalaya's ability to reach ANYTHING he is curious about :)
To look at the previous years pictures of Jambalaya and to see him today. Amazing at how the pup has just gotten swallowed up by a beautiful non shedding coat and need to RUN from sleeping all the time at my feet or on my lap. Oh yeah... Jambalaya thinks he is the size of Grace (Annavee's long haired Chihuahua) so you will find him CONSTANTLY perched on the arms of my couch. Kinda reminds me of the Peanut's cartoons and watching Snoopy hanging off his doghouse.
Jambalaya is a wonderful companion for me. He is excited to see me always. He is willing to go anywhere I wish to go. He loves for me to touch him and love on him. He even understands when I need to just sit and think. All in all I am glad he is in my life for as long as his heart will beat. All he wants to do is play which seems to be a "thinking" of mine. Come on! Let's PLAY!
I do it with my grandson and I can do that with my dog.
Although SOME of the walks don't exactly look like play :)
Yep, Jambalaya turned 1 on November 1st. God, a Scorpio temperament as such as I have never dealt with :)
Actually he does remind me of Leslie in a lot of ways.
He will bring me all kinds of toys. He is protective to a point but pretty happy when on an adventure. He is a tad skittish of strangers...today he actually growled a little at one of my neighbors. She is gay and rides a motorcycle. He did sniff her though. THAT is a start :)
Soon as she tosses a ball for him he will be fine :)
70+ pounds he is now. We were walking yesterday morning. Slow walk because I have been sick as sin since Thursday night. Feeling better today (thank you for asking, by the way)
Anyway... we were walking on the back side of the apartment complex along this retaining wall (Jamba insists on walking on top of it) and POOF* he takes of right and I follow with feet flying in the air.
All I could do was do a push up to get my hips under me instead of being bent on the retaining wall. Sit upright and start laughing.
It has been a long while since A) I was so weak that my dog could pull me that hard B) musta been a sight to see me flying off my feet with Jamba chasing a squirrel and C) I laughed that hard.
I did do a little testing on Jambalaya's pull-ability
HE can do a hard pull of 150 lbs. That is a HUGE amount for me to control at times. I have learned to not have a lead attached to me on my bike :)
Jambalaya does really well following (sorta ziggy zaggy) ...okay, he likes to lead. Trust me when he is tired he will stop. Sit in the middle of the trail and stare at me in my eyes like "you CRAZY old woman! STOP!!!" After a few minutes he is ready to run again. :)
He cuddles me at night safely guarding my feet and knees from hidden night dangers. Sometimes I hear him sigh deeply like I do....ahhh, FINALLY sleeping! Then he gets down and rests on his bed. I think it is so he can look out the window at night to make sure the local area is safe.
Jambalaya LOVES Zephyr very much! Z will chase him and they play tag. So far, Jamba has not knocked him over which WILL be a site to see :) Zephyr will let Jamba kiss him for a little while...then he is off running and chasing the dog again :) Z loves to hug and pet Jambalaya. Jambalaya tries to approach all the kids he sees...looking for a fun time and pets and rubs. He is big though and it scares some little ones that have not been raised with dogs.
Steve and Toni are bring Z home today with them for a little "pre-visit" on the holiday. I hope that there is a way that I get to see him, too. Jambalaya needs his boy time, too. I cannot take Jambalaya over there to Steve and Toni's. They have 3 adorable kitty cats and their home could not deal with Jambalaya's ability to reach ANYTHING he is curious about :)
To look at the previous years pictures of Jambalaya and to see him today. Amazing at how the pup has just gotten swallowed up by a beautiful non shedding coat and need to RUN from sleeping all the time at my feet or on my lap. Oh yeah... Jambalaya thinks he is the size of Grace (Annavee's long haired Chihuahua) so you will find him CONSTANTLY perched on the arms of my couch. Kinda reminds me of the Peanut's cartoons and watching Snoopy hanging off his doghouse.
Jambalaya is a wonderful companion for me. He is excited to see me always. He is willing to go anywhere I wish to go. He loves for me to touch him and love on him. He even understands when I need to just sit and think. All in all I am glad he is in my life for as long as his heart will beat. All he wants to do is play which seems to be a "thinking" of mine. Come on! Let's PLAY!
I do it with my grandson and I can do that with my dog.
Although SOME of the walks don't exactly look like play :)
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Considerations
Reading Jobs - Overall Outlook for Surrounding Area
According to the most recent government statistics, there are 818,283 Reading jobs. Jobs in Reading's Private Sector make up the majority of employment with 733,516 jobs in the Reading, MA surrounding area (Middlesex County). This accounts for 89.64% of the Reading jobs market. The rest of the market comprises Local Government employment totaling 58,953 jobs, which is 7.2% of the Reading workforce. State Government and Federal Government make up 12,794 (1.56%) and 13,020 (1.59%) Reading jobs respectively.
To get an idea of the opportunity, there are 47,455 employers in Reading. The Private Sector includes 46,397 firms, which make up 97.77% of companies hiring in Reading. In other sectors, 721 Local Government employers (1.52%), 147 State Government employers (0.31%), and 190 Federal Government employers (0.4%) hire workers in the Reading vicinity.
The average weekly wage in Reading, MA is $1,176, which translates to $61,152 annually. Private Sector wages are $1,192 per week or roughly $61,984 per year, on average. Local Government wages are $917 per week or $47,684 per year. State Government wages are $1,019 per week or $52,988 per year. Federal Government wages are $1,339 per week or $69,628 per year.
===================================================================
This is what I have to consider.
My company is closing down the office here in Texas. I have an offer to move to Reading, MA by January.... or accept a severance package and look for work here.
Research shows that the earnings there are more than I make here.
Cost of living there is expensive for a single individual. Makes roommate situations a must.
I think I need to research a job here.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Zephyr and Jordan take flight
This past Friday, Jordan and Zephyr had a most wonderful adventure together!
Father and Son had their FIRST airplane ride!
Amanda's stepmother and father went with them all for the wonderful moment of flight :)
Rachael ( Toni's daughter) works at McKinney airport. She was able to get a ride for the "boys" along with momma! The Cessna ride was a HIT!
The family also got a tour of a helicopter (Medivac I think)
Zephyr would not go into a helicopter until he saw his Papa sitting in it first :) Steve I believe was thrilled to accomplish the task. Amanda reported that all day all Z would enlighten EVERYONE to was "I was on a PLANE!!!!"
Zephyr loves airplanes and always searches for them in the air. I hear that Jordan has been bitten by the flight bug too :)
I am so thankful that the extended family is so into bringing happy moments to each other. Rachael.....what a wonderful young woman you have grown into being.
To think of such an adventure.... I am clapping my hands at how thrilled Zephyr and Jordan were about it. I loved hearing Z say "where is the plane? All gone?" on Sunday :)
Always looking for the sound of the engine to guide his sight to something that may become a love of his.
Thank you for the wonderful smiles I got to see in the video.
Thank you for sharing :)
Father and Son had their FIRST airplane ride!
Amanda's stepmother and father went with them all for the wonderful moment of flight :)
Rachael ( Toni's daughter) works at McKinney airport. She was able to get a ride for the "boys" along with momma! The Cessna ride was a HIT!
The family also got a tour of a helicopter (Medivac I think)
Zephyr would not go into a helicopter until he saw his Papa sitting in it first :) Steve I believe was thrilled to accomplish the task. Amanda reported that all day all Z would enlighten EVERYONE to was "I was on a PLANE!!!!"
Zephyr loves airplanes and always searches for them in the air. I hear that Jordan has been bitten by the flight bug too :)
I am so thankful that the extended family is so into bringing happy moments to each other. Rachael.....what a wonderful young woman you have grown into being.
To think of such an adventure.... I am clapping my hands at how thrilled Zephyr and Jordan were about it. I loved hearing Z say "where is the plane? All gone?" on Sunday :)
Always looking for the sound of the engine to guide his sight to something that may become a love of his.
Thank you for the wonderful smiles I got to see in the video.
Thank you for sharing :)
Friday, October 31, 2008
at home
Amazing how much time I spend at home now.
Tomorrow I am working at a party as a Tarot Reader....haven't done that in a few months.... reading publicly that is.
I come home from work... walk my dog... read or sew... watch a little TV.... and go to bed.
Pretty boring.
Is okay for the most part because I am quiet. Not much singing or dancing anymore.
I am peaceful though.
Tomorrow morning or Sunday morning I am to have a call from Marty for a coffee date. I sent him some foofy creamer and some books. :) I am looking forward to this.
I got to see my grandson for a few hours on Sunday *last Sunday* and 30 minutes on Wednesday. I seem to get out of work to late when he is here and he goes to bed early as a child should.
I miss him dearly. He is growing so very fast.
I think a lot.
I don't cry anymore.
I walk and take care of my responsibilities as I should.
So why is life silent, sad and boring except for the little glimmers that occasionally happen?
I guess DRAMA happens elsewhere these days
and that is fine.
Maybe this is what was meant when I was told "that one day I would live in silence."
Tomorrow I am working at a party as a Tarot Reader....haven't done that in a few months.... reading publicly that is.
I come home from work... walk my dog... read or sew... watch a little TV.... and go to bed.
Pretty boring.
Is okay for the most part because I am quiet. Not much singing or dancing anymore.
I am peaceful though.
Tomorrow morning or Sunday morning I am to have a call from Marty for a coffee date. I sent him some foofy creamer and some books. :) I am looking forward to this.
I got to see my grandson for a few hours on Sunday *last Sunday* and 30 minutes on Wednesday. I seem to get out of work to late when he is here and he goes to bed early as a child should.
I miss him dearly. He is growing so very fast.
I think a lot.
I don't cry anymore.
I walk and take care of my responsibilities as I should.
So why is life silent, sad and boring except for the little glimmers that occasionally happen?
I guess DRAMA happens elsewhere these days
and that is fine.
Maybe this is what was meant when I was told "that one day I would live in silence."
Friday, October 24, 2008
consider this
No matter where you are at this moment in time there are others slowly seeing you migrate into someone that you wish or work on being.
They have a sight of who you think you are.
Trust your closest friend to be entirely honest with you in how your actions can be perceived.
Yes you will go through painful emotional involvements.
Yes there are people that you will never see or know again.
Memories
Those are so precious.
Laughter will fill my heart.
I realize that I may never meet a man that will share my hopes and dreams and curious quests in my lifetime and be my companion and cohort.
I have my family and that is WONDERFUL.
Family can be chosen. Friends are valuable with the same amount of honesty and heart as I love my family.
I wait for no one to come into my life because there are precious ones here already.
They have a sight of who you think you are.
Trust your closest friend to be entirely honest with you in how your actions can be perceived.
Yes you will go through painful emotional involvements.
Yes there are people that you will never see or know again.
Memories
Those are so precious.
Laughter will fill my heart.
I realize that I may never meet a man that will share my hopes and dreams and curious quests in my lifetime and be my companion and cohort.
I have my family and that is WONDERFUL.
Family can be chosen. Friends are valuable with the same amount of honesty and heart as I love my family.
I wait for no one to come into my life because there are precious ones here already.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Happy Birthday...to me!
Yep! 49 today!
All in all I think it will be a wonderful day!
I went to my sister Annavee's house and painted some baseboards yesterday.
Annavee and Jacque are my younger sisters and both had a birthday recently too!
Annavee on the 17th (she is the middle child) and Jacqueline on the 18th (she's the baby child!)
Now that EVERYONE is caught up... :)
Last night my friend Joe took me out for dinner for my birthday. We went to Truluck's. He knows I adore seafood! Man it was a hard choice. BUT.... There was a appetizer that was something I have never tried before. Brazilian Pachu Fish Ribs. This was delicious! A cousin of the Parana's and it tasted like: PORK!!! Hehehe is was made with a bar-b-que sauce and grilled watermelon (interesting!) and a delightful coleslaw. Next was a delightful and tasty Pablano Pepper soup which I will figure out! I had a fantastic Lobster (10-12 oz) from Australia. (yes I know it is a SIN to waste the opportunity of having a FRESH main Lobster that was flown in today) with Parmesan and garlic mashed potatoes (NEVER as smooth as Sally Rainey's) and grilled Asparagus. Then came dessert that was a chocolate souffle served like I have never had before! It was made with the center being liquid chocolate.
Had 2 glasses of Vouvray Wine (Chardonnay) and a Tawney Port with desert.
It was WONDERFUL!
So the rest of the day is starting but I wanted to say GOOD MORNING AMERICA!!!
All in all I think it will be a wonderful day!
I went to my sister Annavee's house and painted some baseboards yesterday.
Annavee and Jacque are my younger sisters and both had a birthday recently too!
Annavee on the 17th (she is the middle child) and Jacqueline on the 18th (she's the baby child!)
Now that EVERYONE is caught up... :)
Last night my friend Joe took me out for dinner for my birthday. We went to Truluck's. He knows I adore seafood! Man it was a hard choice. BUT.... There was a appetizer that was something I have never tried before. Brazilian Pachu Fish Ribs. This was delicious! A cousin of the Parana's and it tasted like: PORK!!! Hehehe is was made with a bar-b-que sauce and grilled watermelon (interesting!) and a delightful coleslaw. Next was a delightful and tasty Pablano Pepper soup which I will figure out! I had a fantastic Lobster (10-12 oz) from Australia. (yes I know it is a SIN to waste the opportunity of having a FRESH main Lobster that was flown in today) with Parmesan and garlic mashed potatoes (NEVER as smooth as Sally Rainey's) and grilled Asparagus. Then came dessert that was a chocolate souffle served like I have never had before! It was made with the center being liquid chocolate.
Had 2 glasses of Vouvray Wine (Chardonnay) and a Tawney Port with desert.
It was WONDERFUL!
So the rest of the day is starting but I wanted to say GOOD MORNING AMERICA!!!
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Zephyr and his drum solo debute
Coming home from the Austin Zoo (means the Austin Animal Rescue) was more than just a car ride.
Amanda's Blog beat me to the film!
It was a truly marvelous adventure :)
Amanda's Blog beat me to the film!
It was a truly marvelous adventure :)
Monday, October 06, 2008
Home again Home again...jiggity jig
Got back last night from Austin. I really love that city :) Unfortunately my job doesn't allow for constant telecommutes :)
There are more friendly people there than I have EVER met in Dallas and I have been here since I was 5 & 1/2.
My daughter asked me when I was moving down with a huge smile on her face.
I am not, Honey Girl. My job unfortunately is in Dallas.
Doesn't stop me from searching. No longer tied down to a pseudo relationship that was all my own doing. Unrealized unconfirmed emotions that I set up for my own emotional hell and I FINALLY got it.
Too damn old to trust that scene again. It is amazing at how much love you can FEEL and see in a child's smile and attempts to converse.
Zephyr does NOT like for you to "make up words" to converse with him. He is gaining several words a day. This weekend I was in Austin to babysit him for my Daughter and Son in Law's 4th Anniversary. Considering they have been together for 10 years already... It was a rather calm but fun weekend. So cool that they enjoy cards and dominoes games. Scrabble was the hit last time. I LOVE scrabble!
I did really well with the dominoes and Jordan was the big winner at Uno!
I got to talk to my son, Jason, on the way down. He has a girlfriend and she sounds really nice! Even into gaming like he is. That means a lot! She is also attending college within her close proximity of home in FL. Jason is doing really well at school and at his job.
Jambalaya is getting huge :)
I am not sure I want to attend Myschievia. That is a first.
Thinking on it.
I know I am carrying a rider...but my main concern is MY emotional health.
PERIOD.
Home is where the heart is, isn't it?
I want to continue on my path of self reliance and sustainability. It may be that I end up having to work that weekend, too.
We went through a LOT of recent changes in my office and there were several that did not make the continued employment.
I find out today what the situation is at the office and then all decisions will be made.
I may end up moving ... I may end up staying.
Who knows?
Who besides me really cares anyway?
My children do that is for sure.
and again... yesterday as I was telling Zephyr "I love you" for his nap and my drive towards Dallas....
"Bye bye, Grannie love you" was clearly stated back.
God, he is growing fast. 20 months old and already has the brightest eyes of sky blue.
He has great understanding at his limited level of sharing heart felt love. He smiles and is entertained with laughter. He blinks so seriously at you when learning a new concept (read IE: potty training). His joy and applause at a job "well done!" and the delightful heart that sings when he is singing or drumming or laughing with you.
I know, it maybe grandmother syndrome but it is something I can say with great joy.
I did well raising my children. They are starting their own families now. They are showing love to themselves and to those that matter the most to them.
It was a wonderful walk and talk with Amanda and hearing the confirmation that she is glad to have her momma back again. "I was worried about you Momma. You were always in emotional trauma when with "him" and I am really glad to have you back and happy."
Yep, Kiddo,,,,, so am I. Glad to be me again.
It isn't that love isn't supposed to be in your life.
It is that love is supposed to be balanced and equal.
There are more friendly people there than I have EVER met in Dallas and I have been here since I was 5 & 1/2.
My daughter asked me when I was moving down with a huge smile on her face.
I am not, Honey Girl. My job unfortunately is in Dallas.
Doesn't stop me from searching. No longer tied down to a pseudo relationship that was all my own doing. Unrealized unconfirmed emotions that I set up for my own emotional hell and I FINALLY got it.
Too damn old to trust that scene again. It is amazing at how much love you can FEEL and see in a child's smile and attempts to converse.
Zephyr does NOT like for you to "make up words" to converse with him. He is gaining several words a day. This weekend I was in Austin to babysit him for my Daughter and Son in Law's 4th Anniversary. Considering they have been together for 10 years already... It was a rather calm but fun weekend. So cool that they enjoy cards and dominoes games. Scrabble was the hit last time. I LOVE scrabble!
I did really well with the dominoes and Jordan was the big winner at Uno!
I got to talk to my son, Jason, on the way down. He has a girlfriend and she sounds really nice! Even into gaming like he is. That means a lot! She is also attending college within her close proximity of home in FL. Jason is doing really well at school and at his job.
Jambalaya is getting huge :)
I am not sure I want to attend Myschievia. That is a first.
Thinking on it.
I know I am carrying a rider...but my main concern is MY emotional health.
PERIOD.
Home is where the heart is, isn't it?
I want to continue on my path of self reliance and sustainability. It may be that I end up having to work that weekend, too.
We went through a LOT of recent changes in my office and there were several that did not make the continued employment.
I find out today what the situation is at the office and then all decisions will be made.
I may end up moving ... I may end up staying.
Who knows?
Who besides me really cares anyway?
My children do that is for sure.
and again... yesterday as I was telling Zephyr "I love you" for his nap and my drive towards Dallas....
"Bye bye, Grannie love you" was clearly stated back.
God, he is growing fast. 20 months old and already has the brightest eyes of sky blue.
He has great understanding at his limited level of sharing heart felt love. He smiles and is entertained with laughter. He blinks so seriously at you when learning a new concept (read IE: potty training). His joy and applause at a job "well done!" and the delightful heart that sings when he is singing or drumming or laughing with you.
I know, it maybe grandmother syndrome but it is something I can say with great joy.
I did well raising my children. They are starting their own families now. They are showing love to themselves and to those that matter the most to them.
It was a wonderful walk and talk with Amanda and hearing the confirmation that she is glad to have her momma back again. "I was worried about you Momma. You were always in emotional trauma when with "him" and I am really glad to have you back and happy."
Yep, Kiddo,,,,, so am I. Glad to be me again.
It isn't that love isn't supposed to be in your life.
It is that love is supposed to be balanced and equal.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
and SPECIAL feelings arise....
Tonight...my grandson Zephyr the marvelous wonder said
"Bye bye Grannie"
He blew me kisses over the webcam and told me that wonderful statement.
Amanda says that is the first time he has said that.
I wish I had been recording it :)
I think my heart is gonna melt.
=D
occasional self doubt
Ever feel like you chose the wrong career, relationship, and possibly the wrong life?
When self doubt hits I find I totally withdraw.
Okay, I know a lot of stuff. Mental capacity is very good and active.
I am not that talkative normally.
Spiritually I question why I insist on learning over and over that no one sees occurrences the way I do. Nor do many look further inside to see the future for themselves or others.
Just remember that to see the future means you do not get to skip the in between emotions.
I really am not sure where I am at this moment. I woke with the words coming out of my mouth "get out of my head Dan. YOU were not invited"
Now that is a weird way to wake up.
I am not sure I really know what is best for me in a job. I like technology because it makes my mind work. Search, repair, digest, grow, and requires logical function. (Yes I can be very logical)
It does not however make me feel happy, giving, laughter filled, and thankful for being human.
My other work is what I adore. Massage heals. Not only does it help others but it helps me. HUMAN contact.
I miss hearing that someone feels good around me.
I have sat alone thinking for over a month. I have gone and visited a few people.
I am not even sure that I am wanted in any place.
It used to be the commotion of people around me was entertaining. I watch many that are lost now.
There is a balance in spiritual living where you understand that all are not lost but only searching a way to find their value.
Why is it that the human is so ego centric that they forget the reality of emotional pain sometimes needs to be listened to? I don't really need to be heard as words have been released and sent the way of smoke and prayers (I guess that is the best descriptive word I know of at the moment).
There was comfort in a few true friends being around. Yes distance does not mean you are not there for my need of communication, but it is less satisfying to my physical reality.
There is sadness that it was a liar that I fell into. I fell into lying to myself that it was real.
THAT really upsets me.
Yeah, future sight does not mean you get to see for yourself in all things.
I am still processing my choices in life. One reason I am physically here.
I just wish I felt the confidence again at this moment.
I have a good job. I worry that I am not smart enough though at the moment.
Frustrations tend to cause me self doubt.
I don't look forward to spending the rest of my life living alone.
Sorry guys, I don't like it.
I prefer to live around and with others in my home.
Yeah there may be differences and issues... but there are others there to talk to me instead of always being in my head. I think the silence is worse and I am forcing it on myself daily of late.
I can and do pay all of my bills. BY MY OWN SELF.
I am self sufficient but I really dislike being in a house by myself.
and no...a dog does not count.
When self doubt hits I find I totally withdraw.
Okay, I know a lot of stuff. Mental capacity is very good and active.
I am not that talkative normally.
Spiritually I question why I insist on learning over and over that no one sees occurrences the way I do. Nor do many look further inside to see the future for themselves or others.
Just remember that to see the future means you do not get to skip the in between emotions.
I really am not sure where I am at this moment. I woke with the words coming out of my mouth "get out of my head Dan. YOU were not invited"
Now that is a weird way to wake up.
I am not sure I really know what is best for me in a job. I like technology because it makes my mind work. Search, repair, digest, grow, and requires logical function. (Yes I can be very logical)
It does not however make me feel happy, giving, laughter filled, and thankful for being human.
My other work is what I adore. Massage heals. Not only does it help others but it helps me. HUMAN contact.
I miss hearing that someone feels good around me.
I have sat alone thinking for over a month. I have gone and visited a few people.
I am not even sure that I am wanted in any place.
It used to be the commotion of people around me was entertaining. I watch many that are lost now.
There is a balance in spiritual living where you understand that all are not lost but only searching a way to find their value.
Why is it that the human is so ego centric that they forget the reality of emotional pain sometimes needs to be listened to? I don't really need to be heard as words have been released and sent the way of smoke and prayers (I guess that is the best descriptive word I know of at the moment).
There was comfort in a few true friends being around. Yes distance does not mean you are not there for my need of communication, but it is less satisfying to my physical reality.
There is sadness that it was a liar that I fell into. I fell into lying to myself that it was real.
THAT really upsets me.
Yeah, future sight does not mean you get to see for yourself in all things.
I am still processing my choices in life. One reason I am physically here.
I just wish I felt the confidence again at this moment.
I have a good job. I worry that I am not smart enough though at the moment.
Frustrations tend to cause me self doubt.
I don't look forward to spending the rest of my life living alone.
Sorry guys, I don't like it.
I prefer to live around and with others in my home.
Yeah there may be differences and issues... but there are others there to talk to me instead of always being in my head. I think the silence is worse and I am forcing it on myself daily of late.
I can and do pay all of my bills. BY MY OWN SELF.
I am self sufficient but I really dislike being in a house by myself.
and no...a dog does not count.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
there isn't much to say
Life is about learning and caring
Sometimes the hardest thing (or for me at least) is to let you go onto your own path.
Not that I see things more clearly.
I just see the potentials of the future in odder moments. There are always more choices.
Potential is not what is the reality but what could be a reality. Choices.
I kissed an old friend last night and it was nice.
Remember kissing many.
I want to find one that kisses my heart.
I am not ready to be in any relationship that involves my heart again (except for my family) but I know eventually I may do that.
silly woman....
Tricks are for kids.
Life is supposed to be fun and I wonder sometimes why I fear it. Why do I think I have to be alone so much.
I miss talking and laughter.
I miss cuddles even more.
Sometimes the hardest thing (or for me at least) is to let you go onto your own path.
Not that I see things more clearly.
I just see the potentials of the future in odder moments. There are always more choices.
Potential is not what is the reality but what could be a reality. Choices.
I kissed an old friend last night and it was nice.
Remember kissing many.
I want to find one that kisses my heart.
I am not ready to be in any relationship that involves my heart again (except for my family) but I know eventually I may do that.
silly woman....
Tricks are for kids.
Life is supposed to be fun and I wonder sometimes why I fear it. Why do I think I have to be alone so much.
I miss talking and laughter.
I miss cuddles even more.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
a funny ....
A mother and her 5 yr old son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?' The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy walks to the galley and asks the stewardess, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?' The stewardess responded to the little boy, 'Did your mother tell you to ask me that question?' The boy said, 'Yes, she did.'
'Well, then,' the flight attend replied, 'tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you!
'Well, then,' the flight attend replied, 'tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you!
not only stormy weather...
but family health
My Step dad, Michael, had a heart attack yesterday. He was flown into Dallas by Care Flight.
I was informed by my niece that he is okay. This morning I talked to Amanda and she informed me he had surgery last night. 2 blocked arteries (90%) and the surgery went really well.
My niece is the "key" this time.
Amanda is right, Chandra is a LOT like her momma :)
WONDERFUL attribute I think.
Jason called me last night and it was WAY COOL to hear about his studies and his grades. The kid is, has, always will be, one that helps those that have a hard time understanding things.
Used to watch him do that all through his school years. He quietly divulged information and then was SO PROUD to be recognized for it. He is rather intelligent if at times a little distant. He is emotional at times....
and I would not want him to change a bit! I love Jason just the way he is. Always have. I remember long cuddles and talks with him. He was, and still is, gentle.
My Step dad, Michael (who is affectionately know as "god" - as in Good Ole Dad) will have a time with Momma I am sure. She can be really strong when needed...but her emotions will be touchy for a while.
HEY
Maybe they will eat better ;) Momma still does all the cooking for them. A very old fashioned wife. I think that they will be just fine.
Momma sounds good on the phone so I am not worried :)
She just talked to me and I am PLEASED to hear her voice.
Good news from the doctors and he will be getting to go home on Monday afternoon.
Amanda and Jordan are in town this weekend with Zephyr. They have very close friends moving to Taos, NM this weekend.
Today we were to all meet up at my sister Jacque's home for a family gathering. Includes Steve and Toni! I think that is AWESOME!!!!!
Even though we divorced...I never meant for him NOT to be in with the family. There were a lot of years and the kids.... and I know Steve was missed. He loves Toni and that (if it were the only thing) makes her valuable. Besides the "in common" people are:
Amanda, Jason, and Zephyr ...of course this includes Jordan :)
MY family is still HIS family, too. I am pleased that we have both grown.
It is hard sometimes when memory comes along and then I view events as they are now.
It's all good.
I wish my Momma and Step dad could be there.....but totally understandable :)
Healing from heart surgery takes precedence.
I wish I had listened to my inner voice about going out last weekend when I had Zephyr with me. But the baby really was tired and I did what was best. Beside...Michael will be here for a while longer I bet :)
It's an interesting perspective when you realize that family is more precious. When you talk to them regularly it doesn't become "invasive feeling" like it used to when so very young.
Did you know that I LOVE the rain and the storms?
It is amazing to watch it all happen and to smell the rain.
I feel clean.
I feel at peace today.
My Step dad, Michael, had a heart attack yesterday. He was flown into Dallas by Care Flight.
I was informed by my niece that he is okay. This morning I talked to Amanda and she informed me he had surgery last night. 2 blocked arteries (90%) and the surgery went really well.
My niece is the "key" this time.
Amanda is right, Chandra is a LOT like her momma :)
WONDERFUL attribute I think.
Jason called me last night and it was WAY COOL to hear about his studies and his grades. The kid is, has, always will be, one that helps those that have a hard time understanding things.
Used to watch him do that all through his school years. He quietly divulged information and then was SO PROUD to be recognized for it. He is rather intelligent if at times a little distant. He is emotional at times....
and I would not want him to change a bit! I love Jason just the way he is. Always have. I remember long cuddles and talks with him. He was, and still is, gentle.
My Step dad, Michael (who is affectionately know as "god" - as in Good Ole Dad) will have a time with Momma I am sure. She can be really strong when needed...but her emotions will be touchy for a while.
HEY
Maybe they will eat better ;) Momma still does all the cooking for them. A very old fashioned wife. I think that they will be just fine.
Momma sounds good on the phone so I am not worried :)
She just talked to me and I am PLEASED to hear her voice.
Good news from the doctors and he will be getting to go home on Monday afternoon.
Amanda and Jordan are in town this weekend with Zephyr. They have very close friends moving to Taos, NM this weekend.
Today we were to all meet up at my sister Jacque's home for a family gathering. Includes Steve and Toni! I think that is AWESOME!!!!!
Even though we divorced...I never meant for him NOT to be in with the family. There were a lot of years and the kids.... and I know Steve was missed. He loves Toni and that (if it were the only thing) makes her valuable. Besides the "in common" people are:
Amanda, Jason, and Zephyr ...of course this includes Jordan :)
MY family is still HIS family, too. I am pleased that we have both grown.
It is hard sometimes when memory comes along and then I view events as they are now.
It's all good.
I wish my Momma and Step dad could be there.....but totally understandable :)
Healing from heart surgery takes precedence.
I wish I had listened to my inner voice about going out last weekend when I had Zephyr with me. But the baby really was tired and I did what was best. Beside...Michael will be here for a while longer I bet :)
It's an interesting perspective when you realize that family is more precious. When you talk to them regularly it doesn't become "invasive feeling" like it used to when so very young.
Did you know that I LOVE the rain and the storms?
It is amazing to watch it all happen and to smell the rain.
I feel clean.
I feel at peace today.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
gak
gawd....
tummy upset again!
Guess the intestinal virus is gonna have its way with me yet!
Home today after 1 PM and I am BORED. Can't concentrate long enough to work on line...or do anything!
Jamba looks worried.
I feel worried.
gak gak akgkga
there much better.
I hope it isn't contagious to animals :|
Jamba will be so upset by the time I get home from work if it is... he hates having "issues" in his kennel.
Rain is nice :)
I know it can be overloaded on our cities...but ya know what? It wasn't a HUGE thing before TV... it happens in nature... it is part of life.
I am doing well at the job :) I really like the place.
Unfortunate my manager has to learn that when I don't feel good my sense of humor goes completely away.
I warned everyone today I did not feel good and wanted them to stay as far as they could from me.
I wonder how my son is doing in Orlando? I have not been able to catch him of late either. :)
He told me the other day he was busy STUDYING!!! :)
So nice to hear :)
he is in college by his own means! Not many kids do that these days.
Amanda is well and so is Jordan... of almost 4 years marriage soon.
:) (Oct 3)
Zephyr is getting bigger and more talkative!
hehehe, serves Amanda right...but I worry for Jordan and his ears ;)
I am starting to have a decent interactive relationship with Stephen and Toni. I really hope that they get more comfortable with me just being me.
Momma is doing well My stepdad is out of his job. :(
I heard that my Dad and stepmother got a Prius :) to travel the country in instead of the tour bus :)
otherwise..my sisters are in Wylie and doing well.
Maybe I need to buy a house again.....stir things up a bit :)
tummy upset again!
Guess the intestinal virus is gonna have its way with me yet!
Home today after 1 PM and I am BORED. Can't concentrate long enough to work on line...or do anything!
Jamba looks worried.
I feel worried.
gak gak akgkga
there much better.
I hope it isn't contagious to animals :|
Jamba will be so upset by the time I get home from work if it is... he hates having "issues" in his kennel.
Rain is nice :)
I know it can be overloaded on our cities...but ya know what? It wasn't a HUGE thing before TV... it happens in nature... it is part of life.
I am doing well at the job :) I really like the place.
Unfortunate my manager has to learn that when I don't feel good my sense of humor goes completely away.
I warned everyone today I did not feel good and wanted them to stay as far as they could from me.
I wonder how my son is doing in Orlando? I have not been able to catch him of late either. :)
He told me the other day he was busy STUDYING!!! :)
So nice to hear :)
he is in college by his own means! Not many kids do that these days.
Amanda is well and so is Jordan... of almost 4 years marriage soon.
:) (Oct 3)
Zephyr is getting bigger and more talkative!
hehehe, serves Amanda right...but I worry for Jordan and his ears ;)
I am starting to have a decent interactive relationship with Stephen and Toni. I really hope that they get more comfortable with me just being me.
Momma is doing well My stepdad is out of his job. :(
I heard that my Dad and stepmother got a Prius :) to travel the country in instead of the tour bus :)
otherwise..my sisters are in Wylie and doing well.
Maybe I need to buy a house again.....stir things up a bit :)
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Zephyr amoungst us
how awesome it is to get to watch you sleep
I thank you, Amanda and Jordan, for allowing me to bring Zephyr up to Dallas last Monday.
I know Steve and Toni enjoyed the time with him. A lot of compliments that he is SO good.... and yes he is! I am also amazed at his behavior and social skills :)
He was a delight to get on Friday night. I learned that he can open up containers of yogurt rather easily :0
He did really well putting up with getting to bed a little late on Friday night. Darn it all! I tried but HAD to get milk for him to have in the morning :)
Saturday he woke with giggles and talking up a storm to Jambalaya. Jambalaya LOVES having Z around. Z can run rather well after him through the apartment and loves to hug him and pet him. Tossing toys for the puppy to bring back to his eager hands. Zephyr doesn't like his face and fingers licked though. He giggles when Jambalaya is kissing his feet :)
Later Saturday morning we went back to the store to get some food items for me...and new shoes that blink and a musical instrument barrage for you to enjoy at your home :) Zephyr did really well at learning to blow the harmonica. He had a blast with the real drum and drumsticks. The tambourine isn't there yet...soon enough I am sure. The maracas at least are small enough to be rather quiet (and they are great for using on the tambourine).
We played with the car track set from Gammy and Papa. The hot wheels did not come out since I was concerned that Jamba would try to eat one. The aquadoodle was a little big among all the other stuff so it sat in it's box, too.
We went and swam after his nap and discovered MANY airplanes flying over our heads from the nearby airport. Cavanaugh Air Museum was doing a lot of flying yesterday and they moved close enough to the ground for great visual entertainment and lots of "oohhh WOW" moments.
then there were long walks with the puppy and Grannie learning to use the stroller cause Zephyr's legs get tired at trying to run so much!
Visiting the neighbor next to Grannie, his name is Rich, and jumping off of the porch into grass to roll around in. Zephyr had a lot of fun showing rich how to dance to the fantastic blues music he was playing rather nice and loud :)
Another long walk with Jambalaya at night. We also learned how to "click our heels" to light up our path with flashing shoes.
Our bath time was not so fun as he didn't like me taking the cup away to rinse his hair. Found out he likes pouring the water over his head by ALL by himself! We even talked to Auntie Chandra for a bit and showed her the new music we could make.
I know the video is a bit jerky.... but Zephyr moves like the wind! (smirk)
He also likes to kiss the video camera when trying to kiss Auntie Chandra =D
~~~
A little restless in his dreams Saturday night. He tossed, turned and talked in his sleep. Worried poor Jambalaya a bit as the puppy whistled his concern a few times.
Never have heard Jambalaya do that before :)
I think Zephyr was beginning to miss his normal routines of Momma and Daddy.
Missed his stars at night I noticed, too. He keep pointing to the ceiling saying "ON".
Sunday morning he woke up at 7 and with a HUGE "HI" that made me laugh out loud. We had breakfast on Grannie's porch while the puppy was on his long metal lead. Z had fun shrieking at Jamba as he chased him until Grannie goes "sshhhh" then we were more quiet. :)
Next thing, Jamba started barking and Zephyr looked at him, very seriously, and went "sshhh".
A little fussy this morning and I then decided to watch another movie. Lion King had Z talking a lot! He likes the lion's roar. He was beginning to start to nap again when.....
Excitement!
Momma came through the door!
We got to tell her of saying "Tigger" but he would not repeat it for her to loudly as we had more things on our minds at this time.
Grannie had most things ready...except for the bed... and a few toys that were waiting for entertainment value.
The travel bed is gonna stay here so it can be ready for the next visit to the Grandparents that live so far away from his home.
We got to load up the car and watch Grannie try not to cry (cause Zephyr started crying when Grannie was saying goodbye) as Momma was signing "I Love You" out the window.
Wow...Grannie still bites her lip like a little girl in trouble when trying not to cry.
A wonderful call from Momma so that Grannie knows she is loved as the family drives off to go back to normal life. I am sure Daddy will be thrilled that his son is still alive and well...and has new instruments to jam along with him while Jordan is playing music.
IT WAS A WONDERFUL THING TO GET TO TRAVEL WITH THE Z-MAN
He made a long car trip home very fun with all of his songs, talk, and "Ooohhh WOW!" sounds.
Even spitting in my truck was entertaining. The inside needed a bath anyway.
Thank you Amanda and Jordan for letting me bring him up to Dallas.
I know that he is as precious to you both. Just as you both were to the grandparents when we allowed you to go on trips with. So very long ago.
I greatly enjoyed getting to watch him sleep. I loved watching movies with him and listening to him talk about what he saw. He does say a lot of words...just in a rush to get them all out at once.
If you repeat them correctly...you get a big "YEAH!".
By the way.... what EXACTLY does "Doo das" mean?
He laughs a lot on the word :) Bending over and laughing with his mouth open.
Oh yeah... Rich was amazed at how smart he is for 20 months. So much into the telling him of "how it is" while music is playing. Rich said he would learn how to dance like Zephyr does so he can join in on the fun.
There were MANY compliments on Zephyr's behavior from my neighbors. Many amazed looks at him only being 20 months old. They thought he acted older :)
You have done a wonderful job, Jordan, at being his center of the world for now.
Amanda..his excitement at seeing you was wonderful!
I love you all and greatly treasured the time to have him
"all by myself"
I thank you, Amanda and Jordan, for allowing me to bring Zephyr up to Dallas last Monday.
I know Steve and Toni enjoyed the time with him. A lot of compliments that he is SO good.... and yes he is! I am also amazed at his behavior and social skills :)
He was a delight to get on Friday night. I learned that he can open up containers of yogurt rather easily :0
He did really well putting up with getting to bed a little late on Friday night. Darn it all! I tried but HAD to get milk for him to have in the morning :)
Saturday he woke with giggles and talking up a storm to Jambalaya. Jambalaya LOVES having Z around. Z can run rather well after him through the apartment and loves to hug him and pet him. Tossing toys for the puppy to bring back to his eager hands. Zephyr doesn't like his face and fingers licked though. He giggles when Jambalaya is kissing his feet :)
Later Saturday morning we went back to the store to get some food items for me...and new shoes that blink and a musical instrument barrage for you to enjoy at your home :) Zephyr did really well at learning to blow the harmonica. He had a blast with the real drum and drumsticks. The tambourine isn't there yet...soon enough I am sure. The maracas at least are small enough to be rather quiet (and they are great for using on the tambourine).
We played with the car track set from Gammy and Papa. The hot wheels did not come out since I was concerned that Jamba would try to eat one. The aquadoodle was a little big among all the other stuff so it sat in it's box, too.
We went and swam after his nap and discovered MANY airplanes flying over our heads from the nearby airport. Cavanaugh Air Museum was doing a lot of flying yesterday and they moved close enough to the ground for great visual entertainment and lots of "oohhh WOW" moments.
then there were long walks with the puppy and Grannie learning to use the stroller cause Zephyr's legs get tired at trying to run so much!
Visiting the neighbor next to Grannie, his name is Rich, and jumping off of the porch into grass to roll around in. Zephyr had a lot of fun showing rich how to dance to the fantastic blues music he was playing rather nice and loud :)
Another long walk with Jambalaya at night. We also learned how to "click our heels" to light up our path with flashing shoes.
Our bath time was not so fun as he didn't like me taking the cup away to rinse his hair. Found out he likes pouring the water over his head by ALL by himself! We even talked to Auntie Chandra for a bit and showed her the new music we could make.
I know the video is a bit jerky.... but Zephyr moves like the wind! (smirk)
He also likes to kiss the video camera when trying to kiss Auntie Chandra =D
~~~
A little restless in his dreams Saturday night. He tossed, turned and talked in his sleep. Worried poor Jambalaya a bit as the puppy whistled his concern a few times.
Never have heard Jambalaya do that before :)
I think Zephyr was beginning to miss his normal routines of Momma and Daddy.
Missed his stars at night I noticed, too. He keep pointing to the ceiling saying "ON".
Sunday morning he woke up at 7 and with a HUGE "HI" that made me laugh out loud. We had breakfast on Grannie's porch while the puppy was on his long metal lead. Z had fun shrieking at Jamba as he chased him until Grannie goes "sshhhh" then we were more quiet. :)
Next thing, Jamba started barking and Zephyr looked at him, very seriously, and went "sshhh".
A little fussy this morning and I then decided to watch another movie. Lion King had Z talking a lot! He likes the lion's roar. He was beginning to start to nap again when.....
Excitement!
Momma came through the door!
We got to tell her of saying "Tigger" but he would not repeat it for her to loudly as we had more things on our minds at this time.
Grannie had most things ready...except for the bed... and a few toys that were waiting for entertainment value.
The travel bed is gonna stay here so it can be ready for the next visit to the Grandparents that live so far away from his home.
We got to load up the car and watch Grannie try not to cry (cause Zephyr started crying when Grannie was saying goodbye) as Momma was signing "I Love You" out the window.
Wow...Grannie still bites her lip like a little girl in trouble when trying not to cry.
A wonderful call from Momma so that Grannie knows she is loved as the family drives off to go back to normal life. I am sure Daddy will be thrilled that his son is still alive and well...and has new instruments to jam along with him while Jordan is playing music.
IT WAS A WONDERFUL THING TO GET TO TRAVEL WITH THE Z-MAN
He made a long car trip home very fun with all of his songs, talk, and "Ooohhh WOW!" sounds.
Even spitting in my truck was entertaining. The inside needed a bath anyway.
Thank you Amanda and Jordan for letting me bring him up to Dallas.
I know that he is as precious to you both. Just as you both were to the grandparents when we allowed you to go on trips with. So very long ago.
I greatly enjoyed getting to watch him sleep. I loved watching movies with him and listening to him talk about what he saw. He does say a lot of words...just in a rush to get them all out at once.
If you repeat them correctly...you get a big "YEAH!".
By the way.... what EXACTLY does "Doo das" mean?
He laughs a lot on the word :) Bending over and laughing with his mouth open.
Oh yeah... Rich was amazed at how smart he is for 20 months. So much into the telling him of "how it is" while music is playing. Rich said he would learn how to dance like Zephyr does so he can join in on the fun.
There were MANY compliments on Zephyr's behavior from my neighbors. Many amazed looks at him only being 20 months old. They thought he acted older :)
You have done a wonderful job, Jordan, at being his center of the world for now.
Amanda..his excitement at seeing you was wonderful!
I love you all and greatly treasured the time to have him
"all by myself"
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
best of luck to you
"I want someone who truly loves me and understands me and I AM willing to wait for that."
I hope that the person who wrote that understands they have to love themselves first.
Otherwise...nothing of value will come out of their life to be able to give to another.
It's been a very hard lesson to learn to let them go because they cannot grow with someone who does love them and understands them. Deeply.
best of luck to you
I hope you find yourself
Please note that that quote is from another person's blog. I don't really care to divest major wisdom on them...LOL as IF I had any.
I know that I went through a LOT of work with psychologist and psychiatry to get where I am today.
To have a Psychologist look at you and ask "WHY are you on medications?" was a wake up notation that I had managed to balance me.
I can actually deal with the emotions ... it may not be what I want to do..but I can understand where they are coming from. I understand to VALUE myself and my feelings.
No one else will.
There are so many different things that happen lately that it is "heavy" and sometimes I would rather just work. That is non emotional (most the time) and it is mental configurations of lessons that require deep thought processes to grasp where every piece fits together to make a product run.
It distracts me from emotions.
I have met a guy in my building. I find myself extra wary of getting to start the process of knowing someone again.
He seems nice enough.
He talks well.
He has a way of telling me EACH TIME that if we are gonna get to know each other then we will do so slowly. Meet up a few times and talk at breaks...then maybe a date.
He is 44
"appears to have his head on his shoulders" as far as I know.
Yeah he is correct in stating that IF he was a dangerous sort...he would have the patience to wait 6 or 9 months till I started trusting him. Then he could be evil.
Does ANYONE else hear warning bells?
Am I being paranoid? Or do I not trust so much after Dan that I am unwilling to even try letting someone in again?
I think it is the reaction I have had because of my involvement with Dan.
Why do I think that I can deal with another one?
I don't.
I told a girl I know today that I am fine with me and my family, and of course, my dog.
It will be interesting to see if Rick will be entertaining to my mind..or will I continue to have this "thing" floating around in my brain of: Men who want to date me or really understand me are crazy and I need out.
Maybe I never will have a level of trust again to just be myself with someone like I did with Dan.
I don't really even want to think on it.
So why do I freaking keep coming back to it?
Who Am I trying to convince?
I think I am trying to convince me of something I don't feel.
Hard to realize that because I can love someone..that it isn't that the someone that has to live in my life.
I think that I really did a dis-service to Stephen, too. I never could let him into my head completely.
I did with Leslie, but he only got hurt by me.
I think this life is supposed to always have the want but no satisfaction of receiving for me.
Sometimes that is the only way I can balance how I feel.
One reason I think I can deal with living on a mountain or far away from others.
There is not that pain associated with loving so much that I deny myself the realization that I deserve ....deserve what?
Just anything.
I remember so many times of my Dad telling me I never thought about things (god was HE wrong) and that I didn't have the intelligence to attend college. I still have not forgiven him for those words.
I don't think I need to either.
All in all my feelings are not for ANYONE elses evaluation because they are MINE MINE MINE
Even when I get selfish on something...it is because I want to be HEARD and not judged for having an emotional response. I want to work through it...but I don't really have many to talk to about it. Sometimes I get tired of talking to Momma over the same "thinkings" and to my sisters cause they have things occuring for them too.
Sometimes I want to disappear and not worry about thinking anymore. Then I get the feeling that my grandson doesn't even KNOW me yet. He smiles and laughs with me though. He can play. He WANTS to just play and try to talk to me... I like watching him trying to figure things out. Just like when my kids were tiny. It amazed me to watch them "think" and interpert the world around them. How many times Amanda used her finger like an elephant trunk.
How many times Jason would look at something and just smile and gently touch it.
Then he would squeeze things to see what would happen and sometimes cry when it broke.... what ever IT was. Amanda was gingerly cautious in her "checking things out" approach mostly because she hated getting dirty. ALWAYS. Stephen bopped her butt which caused her to tump into her first birthday cake and she was like "What the heck is THAT doing on my hand!" Then she cried a little and then still used one finger to taste.
Okay...maybe she wasn't feeling good... but she was not in control of her approach. :) see what I mean?
I would watch their eyes as they started understanding things
I want to see that in Zephyr too.
I don't enjoy being so far from him and so limited in exposure time with him to just play.
A child accepts the world and it's "things" just as they are presented to them. It is only through learning others processes that opinions are formed (I think). I could be wrong.
I never did figure out why Amanda insisted on spitting out smooshed peas...but would eat the crunchy peas as long as they were not over cooked at ALL.
they still ended up smooshed in her mouth :)
Jason always wanted to get dirty. Kinda hard to tell him NOT to eat everthing though :)
He would run and run and run... and smell like a wet puppy...and sleep so peacefully.
I think I want to PLAY more in life and not worry about feeling it.
yeah
that is what I want.
best of luck to me in finding it.
I know I rambled tonight. But this is what I THINK and how the process goes. I am not pointing fingers at ANYONE. Just realizing the fact that IF I cannot value how I FEEL then no one else will either.
I tend to keep WAY TOO QUIET when I should not.
Did you know Amanda that I still like to watch you sleep because of the way your dreams cross your face? I did that with you and your brother when you were small.
I wanted to with Zephyr....but you guys came home early from your date. No time to let me watch.
But I would not have traded the time with you for ANYTHING
I hope that the person who wrote that understands they have to love themselves first.
Otherwise...nothing of value will come out of their life to be able to give to another.
It's been a very hard lesson to learn to let them go because they cannot grow with someone who does love them and understands them. Deeply.
best of luck to you
I hope you find yourself
Please note that that quote is from another person's blog. I don't really care to divest major wisdom on them...LOL as IF I had any.
I know that I went through a LOT of work with psychologist and psychiatry to get where I am today.
To have a Psychologist look at you and ask "WHY are you on medications?" was a wake up notation that I had managed to balance me.
I can actually deal with the emotions ... it may not be what I want to do..but I can understand where they are coming from. I understand to VALUE myself and my feelings.
No one else will.
There are so many different things that happen lately that it is "heavy" and sometimes I would rather just work. That is non emotional (most the time) and it is mental configurations of lessons that require deep thought processes to grasp where every piece fits together to make a product run.
It distracts me from emotions.
I have met a guy in my building. I find myself extra wary of getting to start the process of knowing someone again.
He seems nice enough.
He talks well.
He has a way of telling me EACH TIME that if we are gonna get to know each other then we will do so slowly. Meet up a few times and talk at breaks...then maybe a date.
He is 44
"appears to have his head on his shoulders" as far as I know.
Yeah he is correct in stating that IF he was a dangerous sort...he would have the patience to wait 6 or 9 months till I started trusting him. Then he could be evil.
Does ANYONE else hear warning bells?
Am I being paranoid? Or do I not trust so much after Dan that I am unwilling to even try letting someone in again?
I think it is the reaction I have had because of my involvement with Dan.
Why do I think that I can deal with another one?
I don't.
I told a girl I know today that I am fine with me and my family, and of course, my dog.
It will be interesting to see if Rick will be entertaining to my mind..or will I continue to have this "thing" floating around in my brain of: Men who want to date me or really understand me are crazy and I need out.
Maybe I never will have a level of trust again to just be myself with someone like I did with Dan.
I don't really even want to think on it.
So why do I freaking keep coming back to it?
Who Am I trying to convince?
I think I am trying to convince me of something I don't feel.
Hard to realize that because I can love someone..that it isn't that the someone that has to live in my life.
I think that I really did a dis-service to Stephen, too. I never could let him into my head completely.
I did with Leslie, but he only got hurt by me.
I think this life is supposed to always have the want but no satisfaction of receiving for me.
Sometimes that is the only way I can balance how I feel.
One reason I think I can deal with living on a mountain or far away from others.
There is not that pain associated with loving so much that I deny myself the realization that I deserve ....deserve what?
Just anything.
I remember so many times of my Dad telling me I never thought about things (god was HE wrong) and that I didn't have the intelligence to attend college. I still have not forgiven him for those words.
I don't think I need to either.
All in all my feelings are not for ANYONE elses evaluation because they are MINE MINE MINE
Even when I get selfish on something...it is because I want to be HEARD and not judged for having an emotional response. I want to work through it...but I don't really have many to talk to about it. Sometimes I get tired of talking to Momma over the same "thinkings" and to my sisters cause they have things occuring for them too.
Sometimes I want to disappear and not worry about thinking anymore. Then I get the feeling that my grandson doesn't even KNOW me yet. He smiles and laughs with me though. He can play. He WANTS to just play and try to talk to me... I like watching him trying to figure things out. Just like when my kids were tiny. It amazed me to watch them "think" and interpert the world around them. How many times Amanda used her finger like an elephant trunk.
How many times Jason would look at something and just smile and gently touch it.
Then he would squeeze things to see what would happen and sometimes cry when it broke.... what ever IT was. Amanda was gingerly cautious in her "checking things out" approach mostly because she hated getting dirty. ALWAYS. Stephen bopped her butt which caused her to tump into her first birthday cake and she was like "What the heck is THAT doing on my hand!" Then she cried a little and then still used one finger to taste.
Okay...maybe she wasn't feeling good... but she was not in control of her approach. :) see what I mean?
I would watch their eyes as they started understanding things
I want to see that in Zephyr too.
I don't enjoy being so far from him and so limited in exposure time with him to just play.
A child accepts the world and it's "things" just as they are presented to them. It is only through learning others processes that opinions are formed (I think). I could be wrong.
I never did figure out why Amanda insisted on spitting out smooshed peas...but would eat the crunchy peas as long as they were not over cooked at ALL.
they still ended up smooshed in her mouth :)
Jason always wanted to get dirty. Kinda hard to tell him NOT to eat everthing though :)
He would run and run and run... and smell like a wet puppy...and sleep so peacefully.
I think I want to PLAY more in life and not worry about feeling it.
yeah
that is what I want.
best of luck to me in finding it.
I know I rambled tonight. But this is what I THINK and how the process goes. I am not pointing fingers at ANYONE. Just realizing the fact that IF I cannot value how I FEEL then no one else will either.
I tend to keep WAY TOO QUIET when I should not.
Did you know Amanda that I still like to watch you sleep because of the way your dreams cross your face? I did that with you and your brother when you were small.
I wanted to with Zephyr....but you guys came home early from your date. No time to let me watch.
But I would not have traded the time with you for ANYTHING
Thursday, August 21, 2008
dreams at night
curl into me and rest
place your head on my heart
relax into the dreaming time
see the peace and rest
remember to breath
sometime soon the leaves will turn
the sky will open
stars set bright
hearing the words
"to leave all to love"
this is the best release
healing begins in my own heart
laying on my bed I awake
smiling and rested well
I realize that it is my choice
"to leave all to love" is the best
no more the worries or sadness
tears have stopped
i smile
resting my dreams in the places they belong
"to leave all to love" is the best
Monday, August 18, 2008
Big Red Spicer
Big Red Spicer, icon of the running community, Race Director extraordinaire, Friend, Lover, Father, Poet, Trail Builder, Veteran, Comedian, Moonshiner, Hater of Dogs and Democrats, Rascal for all ages, has slipped into a coma and will leave us in a couple of days.
His daughter is at his side and at peace.
Red knows he was loved and has loved much in return. He was held and kissed innumerable times. He is no longer scared. He is already at peace.
There will be a weekend of celebration in his honor next year in June in Palo Duro Canyon. Red's birthday was June 1st. Details will follow.
At the celebration, there will be a run, hamburgers, blues music, a campfire and great quanities of "cold beer." We'll all be able to speak then -- and remember the man who enriched our lives with the funniest stories and that great Southern Charm.Red's ashes will be spread on his family land in North Carolina following cremation.
Palo Duro 50M/50K/20K will go on as planned. Race entries are pouring in, and in true Red fashion, the plans were transfered to Bill and Wynn before he got too ill. Bill and Wynn enourage everyone to enter the race if they wish to run, but are also eager to welcome you into the volunteer family should you wish to participate in that way.
REMEMBER: "Life is a headlong rush into the unknown. You can either hunker down and hope nothing hits you; or you can stand tall, lean into the wind and yell, 'bring it on darlin' and don't be stingy with the Jalapenos."
With much love and the reminder that we are love
~~~~~~~~~
Thank you, Antje, for the information....
His daughter is at his side and at peace.
Red knows he was loved and has loved much in return. He was held and kissed innumerable times. He is no longer scared. He is already at peace.
There will be a weekend of celebration in his honor next year in June in Palo Duro Canyon. Red's birthday was June 1st. Details will follow.
At the celebration, there will be a run, hamburgers, blues music, a campfire and great quanities of "cold beer." We'll all be able to speak then -- and remember the man who enriched our lives with the funniest stories and that great Southern Charm.Red's ashes will be spread on his family land in North Carolina following cremation.
Palo Duro 50M/50K/20K will go on as planned. Race entries are pouring in, and in true Red fashion, the plans were transfered to Bill and Wynn before he got too ill. Bill and Wynn enourage everyone to enter the race if they wish to run, but are also eager to welcome you into the volunteer family should you wish to participate in that way.
REMEMBER: "Life is a headlong rush into the unknown. You can either hunker down and hope nothing hits you; or you can stand tall, lean into the wind and yell, 'bring it on darlin' and don't be stingy with the Jalapenos."
With much love and the reminder that we are love
~~~~~~~~~
Thank you, Antje, for the information....
Sunday, August 17, 2008
a long awaited visit
it was a really fun day today.
relaxed and interesting. i went and visited toni and steve today.
fed ducks, had lunch, and went shopping at big lots:)
i notice that i still shy away from discussing politics.. a lot.. but that is okay
had 2 zipped up GA's (with cranberry and ginseng tea) and it was yummy!
i still love ginger ale :)
got to play with the kitties some too. i miss my cats.
it was really nice to just visit. i had fun driving them both around and telling some of what is around here. naturally it was with a lot of things i like to visit :)
going to share movies of the grandson and pics with them,too. i decided it will be easier doing cd's :)
email is hard long upload on some of them.
toni is doing good and very hopeful of the outcome of the transplant. i really hope that the money is raised soon.
it is nice to see them happy together. i was glad the timing was good to visit as they live near me now.... which in a selfish way we agreed that it makes it easier for the kids to visit more parents and less travel time spent on the road :)
i am pleased and content.
:D
relaxed and interesting. i went and visited toni and steve today.
fed ducks, had lunch, and went shopping at big lots:)
i notice that i still shy away from discussing politics.. a lot.. but that is okay
had 2 zipped up GA's (with cranberry and ginseng tea) and it was yummy!
i still love ginger ale :)
got to play with the kitties some too. i miss my cats.
it was really nice to just visit. i had fun driving them both around and telling some of what is around here. naturally it was with a lot of things i like to visit :)
going to share movies of the grandson and pics with them,too. i decided it will be easier doing cd's :)
email is hard long upload on some of them.
toni is doing good and very hopeful of the outcome of the transplant. i really hope that the money is raised soon.
it is nice to see them happy together. i was glad the timing was good to visit as they live near me now.... which in a selfish way we agreed that it makes it easier for the kids to visit more parents and less travel time spent on the road :)
i am pleased and content.
:D
Saturday, August 16, 2008
off to visit my mom...
Cannot change anything about Red Spicer passing from this life to the next.
Working this weekend but taking my laptop with me so I can SEE my Momma. I miss her a LOT and look forward to the visit.
I'll write more later :)
Working this weekend but taking my laptop with me so I can SEE my Momma. I miss her a LOT and look forward to the visit.
I'll write more later :)
Monday, August 11, 2008
For Toni Vogel... PLEASE HELP HER IN THIS TIME
My daughter Amanda (Bella) sends this out and I want to help!
For Toni Vogel, Wife to Steve Vogel....PLEASE, help if you can.... She is an amazing woman.
National Transplant Assistance Fund
Hi Everyone!Bella here to help my dad and step mom reach out - my stepmother, Toni was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
This week, she was accepted into the National Transplant Assistance Fund where her and my dad hope to raise the $25,000.00 it will take for her transplant surgery. She has been a long standing advocate for science and research and will be participating with a Stem Cell transplant to her spine. The operation and study are only a few years old, and therefore not covered by insurance.
I'm lousy at pitching the facts that are far better explained on the website. Please see below for the link directly to her page and while you are there, feel free to read up on the organization, the procedures and the rates of success. Currently, the doctors have given Toni roughly 10 years... I'd like her to stick around to see our son (and her two other grandchildren from my stepsister) grow up.
Please help in any way that you can - whether it's with a donation or just a kind word of support on her guest book.
http://www. transplantfund. org/Restricted/patient-guestbook. cfm?pat_id=2580
maybe back to plano???
Yeah, I need to move away from the accessibility of a few people.
I think that maybe Plano may be calling my name. I gotta wait for the end of the lease and to see if my office moves.
All dependent on other actions outside of my control.
Sometimes no matter how you try to help or listen to another...you have to cut them loose and let the birds fly or fall to their death far down below.
I cannot rescue anyone but myself.
and I don't want to rescue anyone either
I deserve a lot better than this.
I think that maybe Plano may be calling my name. I gotta wait for the end of the lease and to see if my office moves.
All dependent on other actions outside of my control.
Sometimes no matter how you try to help or listen to another...you have to cut them loose and let the birds fly or fall to their death far down below.
I cannot rescue anyone but myself.
and I don't want to rescue anyone either
I deserve a lot better than this.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
merry-go-round???
Jeeze Louise!
I finally decide to move closer to work. then news comes that makes that decision a moot point.
It maybe that my company is going to relocate. Not exactly sure where, but perhaps closer to my apartment.
Now I am in a wait and see position. Again.
Sometimes I really wonder about why it is I make a decision after CAREFULLY weighing the pluses and minuses, research the locations, do a financial schematic of the checks and values of such a move..... and all for a "wait! not totally there yet!"
GRRRRR
I was looking forward to this too. Canal Side Lofts would have been wonderful!
I like the community and the area. Places to ride my bike and lots of area to let my dog run and play with me. A community that was 3 blocks from work. I could have parked my truck and lessened my need of fuel by WALKING to work or riding my bike.
I had already planned on being home more with Jambalaya and meeting new people in my neighbor hood. I was looking forward to it. REALLY looking forward to it.
Now I wait, possibly until March of '09, until the truth and decision is made for my work location.
My lease ends here on January 31,2009.
I do not want to pay month to month because that avenue is expensive.
I don't want to sign another contract either. I have a choice of 6 months or 12 months. I wanted a place that had amenities that were FUN. THe place I live in a fantastic. It is quiet (mostly retired folks here) and has a wonderful look to the grounds. Very close to Addison Circle.
Canal Side Lofts had this as entertainment:
They do NO resident activities at all. No meet and greets except for 1 time a year and usually I am working during the event.
The office isn't even friendly anymore.
No secured access. I don't like that anymore.
I live right behind Qurum Park and that is pretty, but there is NO PLACE TO LET MY DOG RUN!!!
I normally am patient on stuff. Changing like the wind when I need to.
This time I am disappointed.
I really was enthused about Canal Side Lofts.
Okay so there IS light at the end of a day:
8/2/2008, 8:00 PM to
8/23/2008, 10:00 PM
I finally decide to move closer to work. then news comes that makes that decision a moot point.
It maybe that my company is going to relocate. Not exactly sure where, but perhaps closer to my apartment.
Now I am in a wait and see position. Again.
Sometimes I really wonder about why it is I make a decision after CAREFULLY weighing the pluses and minuses, research the locations, do a financial schematic of the checks and values of such a move..... and all for a "wait! not totally there yet!"
GRRRRR
I was looking forward to this too. Canal Side Lofts would have been wonderful!
I like the community and the area. Places to ride my bike and lots of area to let my dog run and play with me. A community that was 3 blocks from work. I could have parked my truck and lessened my need of fuel by WALKING to work or riding my bike.
I had already planned on being home more with Jambalaya and meeting new people in my neighbor hood. I was looking forward to it. REALLY looking forward to it.
Now I wait, possibly until March of '09, until the truth and decision is made for my work location.
My lease ends here on January 31,2009.
I do not want to pay month to month because that avenue is expensive.
I don't want to sign another contract either. I have a choice of 6 months or 12 months. I wanted a place that had amenities that were FUN. THe place I live in a fantastic. It is quiet (mostly retired folks here) and has a wonderful look to the grounds. Very close to Addison Circle.
Canal Side Lofts had this as entertainment:
Outdoor Features & Amenities
- Main Event Sports Bar, bank of Plasma TVs
- Pool Table and Foosball
- Hi-Def Movie Experience Theater
- Critic’s Corner Outdoor Theater
- Multi-Player "Live" Gaming Center
- Ring Side, Full-Size Boxing Ring
- Indoor Basketball Court
- Cardio Focused Workout Facility
- Strength Training Center
- Urban Garden with Water Features, Outdoor Fireplace and "Self" Space
- Infinity Edge Heated Pool with Eclectic Lighting
- Wi-Fi Hot Spots at Pool, Clubhouse and Urban Garden
- DSL & Cable Broadband Internet
- Controlled Access
- On-site "Suds" Room
- Multi-Level Parking Garages
- Canal, Pool and Urban Garden Views
- A Whole Lotta "Club" House
- Highly functional
- Highly entertaining
- You’re sure to find a venue that meets your desire and the urban beat of Las Colinas is at your feet
They do NO resident activities at all. No meet and greets except for 1 time a year and usually I am working during the event.
The office isn't even friendly anymore.
No secured access. I don't like that anymore.
I live right behind Qurum Park and that is pretty, but there is NO PLACE TO LET MY DOG RUN!!!
I normally am patient on stuff. Changing like the wind when I need to.
This time I am disappointed.
I really was enthused about Canal Side Lofts.
Okay so there IS light at the end of a day:
Symphonic Saturdays
8/2/2008, 8:00 PM to
8/23/2008, 10:00 PM
When: August 2, 9, 16, 23, 2008
2008 SYMPONIC SATURDAYS SCHEDULE
August 2nd - Dallas Wind Symphony - Saxophone Quartet
August 9th - Richardson Symphony Orchestra - 16 Piece String Ensemble
August 16th - Dallas Wind Symphony - Tuba Quartet
August 23rd - Richardson Symphony Orchestra - Brass Quintet
Think I will go tonight and enjoy it. I wonder If I can take my dog......
Monday, August 04, 2008
yep...moving plans again
once my lease is done I am done with Addison.
Looking to move to Las Colinas so I can easily walk to work and not have my dog in a kennel so long.
Maybe I can stay out of trouble there. The bike park I like to ride in is there also.
I think it is the best idea I have had yet. I don't party or play anymore so being near to Jambalaya is a god thing. I will be taking on ON CALL soon at work and it will be best to be close by if needed.
It will be okay to park my truck and not use it so much.
The place I am looking at is a little more than I want to pay but the balance sheet makes it a good deal (especially if there is a special) to do.
Life is very strange when you realize that you really cannot count on anyone but your self. I KNOW my kids I can depend on to grow. But having someone say they will be there and then they are not just sucks. I no longer trust.
PERIOD
I think I can enjoy doing my own stuff and if someone wants to join in that is okay. But not in my home.
Okay
NOW I am tired.
Night
Looking to move to Las Colinas so I can easily walk to work and not have my dog in a kennel so long.
Maybe I can stay out of trouble there. The bike park I like to ride in is there also.
I think it is the best idea I have had yet. I don't party or play anymore so being near to Jambalaya is a god thing. I will be taking on ON CALL soon at work and it will be best to be close by if needed.
It will be okay to park my truck and not use it so much.
The place I am looking at is a little more than I want to pay but the balance sheet makes it a good deal (especially if there is a special) to do.
Life is very strange when you realize that you really cannot count on anyone but your self. I KNOW my kids I can depend on to grow. But having someone say they will be there and then they are not just sucks. I no longer trust.
PERIOD
I think I can enjoy doing my own stuff and if someone wants to join in that is okay. But not in my home.
Okay
NOW I am tired.
Night
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
hello from the land of South Korea
Marty's Blog in Korea
I just spoke with MARTY on the phone!
He asks to tell all hello for him and he is thinking of us and the good times had by all. :)
I truly miss my bestest friend right now.
Check out his blog if you wish and send him email on it.
He is doing great being married now to MyeongHee and is riding his bike as much as possible and letting the wife drive the car!
Kinda helps that for him to go to work he walks down a flight of stairs :)
I told him I would pass on the "hello" for him.
*DING* Job done!
I just spoke with MARTY on the phone!
He asks to tell all hello for him and he is thinking of us and the good times had by all. :)
I truly miss my bestest friend right now.
Check out his blog if you wish and send him email on it.
He is doing great being married now to MyeongHee and is riding his bike as much as possible and letting the wife drive the car!
Kinda helps that for him to go to work he walks down a flight of stairs :)
I told him I would pass on the "hello" for him.
*DING* Job done!
Monday, July 28, 2008
tender feelings
There are many things that we grow through. As a human being which is the purpose of this world and life. Can't escape it.
Not having to take "happy pills" anymore is wonderful but I notice that I react much more in defense of me and my 'feelings about a situation' then ever and not trying to justify the reason others "may have said what they said".
It is about communication. Direct words that are thought about as to how I may cause someone to feel. I cannot ease the words you may say to me. Most of my adult life has been spent trying to figure out the situation in someones life that caused them to say (or not say) something that triggers hurt or anxious thoughts in my head. Sometimes you can only chalk it up to their inexperience (read that as age) and need to draw a boundary for themselves with others. I have a few friends like this. Sometimes it is hard to tell them that what they jsut said has caused me to be pissed off. It isn't common...but it feels okay to make a statement for MY needs. It isn't fair to always assume "it will be fine if I blew steam here" and she will understand. Sometimes I don't understand. Sometimes it is a feeling that you are mad at me or I caused the situation. Sometimes I can see it isn't anything to do with me. Lately I am becoming more in tune with saying STOP this is not good for me to hear.
I enjoy being around people. I am not normally one to open up and talk OPENLY about what I FEEL. I have been known to be an entertainer. I like people being happy. I have a twisted sense of humor and do think that sometimes "shocking the thoughts" is a bit more fun than telling ALL about me to someone I will not really interact with in my life.
Yes I do care a LOT about those I love. I forgive WAY to easily when my heart is injured or my sense of value is "left for someone out the door on a step" for lack of understanding what I was giving up to accommodate their needs.
I am tired of it. I deserve better. I can give and give and give.... but it isn't worth it anymore because I cannot be a receiver.
So with this in mind....
My feeling can be hurt.
Don't avoid telling me perspectives, just be prepared for me to let you know when I think or FEEL you are being unfair in YOUR perspective of me
I have raised 2 children and had a lot of tender emotions that had to be worked through. Misconceived perceptions that somehow worked their way into my children's lives and caused damage to their hearts. I cannot change that now or ever. Nor would I because I think my kids are better humans for that. Yes, they are very different people. I am glad. I hope they learned lessons to on how to be kind and true in their thoughts and actions towards others and the gifts they receive from interactions with those people.
Do not plan on using me . .
GREAT lesson learned.
Not having to take "happy pills" anymore is wonderful but I notice that I react much more in defense of me and my 'feelings about a situation' then ever and not trying to justify the reason others "may have said what they said".
It is about communication. Direct words that are thought about as to how I may cause someone to feel. I cannot ease the words you may say to me. Most of my adult life has been spent trying to figure out the situation in someones life that caused them to say (or not say) something that triggers hurt or anxious thoughts in my head. Sometimes you can only chalk it up to their inexperience (read that as age) and need to draw a boundary for themselves with others. I have a few friends like this. Sometimes it is hard to tell them that what they jsut said has caused me to be pissed off. It isn't common...but it feels okay to make a statement for MY needs. It isn't fair to always assume "it will be fine if I blew steam here" and she will understand. Sometimes I don't understand. Sometimes it is a feeling that you are mad at me or I caused the situation. Sometimes I can see it isn't anything to do with me. Lately I am becoming more in tune with saying STOP this is not good for me to hear.
I enjoy being around people. I am not normally one to open up and talk OPENLY about what I FEEL. I have been known to be an entertainer. I like people being happy. I have a twisted sense of humor and do think that sometimes "shocking the thoughts" is a bit more fun than telling ALL about me to someone I will not really interact with in my life.
Yes I do care a LOT about those I love. I forgive WAY to easily when my heart is injured or my sense of value is "left for someone out the door on a step" for lack of understanding what I was giving up to accommodate their needs.
I am tired of it. I deserve better. I can give and give and give.... but it isn't worth it anymore because I cannot be a receiver.
So with this in mind....
My feeling can be hurt.
Don't avoid telling me perspectives, just be prepared for me to let you know when I think or FEEL you are being unfair in YOUR perspective of me
I have raised 2 children and had a lot of tender emotions that had to be worked through. Misconceived perceptions that somehow worked their way into my children's lives and caused damage to their hearts. I cannot change that now or ever. Nor would I because I think my kids are better humans for that. Yes, they are very different people. I am glad. I hope they learned lessons to on how to be kind and true in their thoughts and actions towards others and the gifts they receive from interactions with those people.
Do not plan on using me . .
GREAT lesson learned.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Tough Texan
A TOUGH OLD COWBOY FROM TEXAS, COUNSELED HIS GRANDSON THAT IF HE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF GUN POWDER ON HIS OATMEAL EVERY MORNING. THE GRANDSON DID THIS RELIGIOUSLY TO THE AGE OF 103 WHEN HE DIED. HE LEFT BEHIND 14 CHILDREN, 30 GRANDCHILDREN, 45 GREAT-GRAND-CHILDREN, 25 GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, AND A 15 FOOT HOLE WHERE THE CREMATORIUM USED TO BE
Thank you Jackie B for that joke.
I LOVED it!
Thank you Jackie B for that joke.
I LOVED it!
Monday, July 14, 2008
from the pool (of dreams?)
Wonderful picture of parents of Zephyr playing around.
He looks good in her hat! Amanda and Jordan goofing around.
Just LOVE his smile!
There are some pictures WORTH sharing!
Thought I would add a few here :)
The lift....
Jordan is pretty strong looking here!
A classic picture is of Amanda... I remember my mom painting a picture LONG AGO very similar to this.
Mother and son...with "sunshine in the eyes" smiles.
There are more to come soon. Make sure you check out YouTube for more movies of them soon.
Or just click the link above :).
Later on!
He looks good in her hat! Amanda and Jordan goofing around.
Just LOVE his smile!
There are some pictures WORTH sharing!
Thought I would add a few here :)
The lift....
Jordan is pretty strong looking here!
A classic picture is of Amanda... I remember my mom painting a picture LONG AGO very similar to this.
Mother and son...with "sunshine in the eyes" smiles.
There are more to come soon. Make sure you check out YouTube for more movies of them soon.
Or just click the link above :).
Later on!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Sway Dancing
Zephyr and his talents!
June 12th and the little one is having a blast! Music playing...fresh fruit all around for his dancing and finger picking eating pleasure. Zephyr is almost 18 months now and he has many styles of dancing. This one is called (by me) "Sway Dancing". Enjoy!
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
A recognition of my Son
WOW
July 7, 2006 my wonderful Honey Boy moved to Orlando Florida.
I last got to see him when he came for his vacation when his nephew, Zephyr, was born on January 9 2007.
Jason you have gone through a lot in your life. Odd things that most people do not know.
I am proud of you. You took a chance on changing your life. Away from family and all of the people you called friends.
You moved to Orlando, Florida with an opportunity to start new....over....fresh.
I am thankful your OnLine friend, Matt had offered you a place to live. At least it was one less thing I was worrying over about you.
You have attempted to change your career....and have had to go back to what you know. You are a good people person though. You do have a huge heart that at times is rather gullible (sometimes like me). You have told me times of how lonely you are and cried.
Honey Boy...
I cry often. It is ALWAYS such a joy to see you call me! It makes me smile hugely and I answer with "My Wonderful Son!" or the familiar "Hey Honey Boy!".
I have a lot of young men that are friends and I refer to them as my kids.
There is only ONE HONEY BOY.
That's you.
You know when to call me and check in ....especially if you are really frustrated with your choices.
I am PROUD of you.
You bought a car...paid cash out right for it.
You pay your bills.
You have taken on a pet. RESPONSIBLE.
Jason, you have moved away from home....but never my heart.
I like to have our conversations about where you are and what you do. I wish I understood more of the games you enjoy online. That is okay though...
LOL WUT
I am trying to accept that I may not get to see you as much as I want. I am like that though.
Jason, I am SO proud of you.
You went out on your own. NO family or familiar people.
You have had let downs and succeeded in turning them around.
You try to attend as many classes as you can afford. I am SO VERY PROUD of you!
and
I Love You SPECIAL.
Momma
July 7, 2006 my wonderful Honey Boy moved to Orlando Florida.
I last got to see him when he came for his vacation when his nephew, Zephyr, was born on January 9 2007.
Jason you have gone through a lot in your life. Odd things that most people do not know.
I am proud of you. You took a chance on changing your life. Away from family and all of the people you called friends.
You moved to Orlando, Florida with an opportunity to start new....over....fresh.
I am thankful your OnLine friend, Matt had offered you a place to live. At least it was one less thing I was worrying over about you.
You have attempted to change your career....and have had to go back to what you know. You are a good people person though. You do have a huge heart that at times is rather gullible (sometimes like me). You have told me times of how lonely you are and cried.
Honey Boy...
I cry often. It is ALWAYS such a joy to see you call me! It makes me smile hugely and I answer with "My Wonderful Son!" or the familiar "Hey Honey Boy!".
I have a lot of young men that are friends and I refer to them as my kids.
There is only ONE HONEY BOY.
That's you.
You know when to call me and check in ....especially if you are really frustrated with your choices.
I am PROUD of you.
You bought a car...paid cash out right for it.
You pay your bills.
You have taken on a pet. RESPONSIBLE.
Jason, you have moved away from home....but never my heart.
I like to have our conversations about where you are and what you do. I wish I understood more of the games you enjoy online. That is okay though...
LOL WUT
I am trying to accept that I may not get to see you as much as I want. I am like that though.
Jason, I am SO proud of you.
You went out on your own. NO family or familiar people.
You have had let downs and succeeded in turning them around.
You try to attend as many classes as you can afford. I am SO VERY PROUD of you!
and
I Love You SPECIAL.
Momma
Monday, June 16, 2008
well I wonder wonder wonder who....
who wrote the book of love...
Interesting song to remember so early in the am. Maybe one of these days I will find that book and find my name somewhere in it. Don't care about it anymore as far as a PARTNER goes. But I am well blessed with love from my family. Got to visit with Amanda and Zephyr on Saturday and into SUnday late morning. It is amazing at how Zephyr has grown. He is a sharp minded little boy! He figured out to keep me from taking his pacifier he could hug my neck. ;) Like I said...sharp. Amanda's starting to get color in her tattoo this visit. BEAUTIFUL work that Star does (Lone Star Tattoo) and I look forward to having a piece done by her also. I may have found who will tie all of my tattoos into one. I remembered a lot of "thoughts" this weekend. I find myself wanting to be away from those that use me. I am finding trust issues have surfaced. Or is it that I am being willful again in wanting what or whom I want?
I tire of the mental beating I give myself.
I have not been on antidepressants for MONTHS now. It feels good not taking them.
There was a reason to stop. No job...no money...and the free services you an get for mental health caused me to miss interviews adn then the Doctors I got to speak with did not see me as having an issue :)
Interesting, huh?
It is fine. I really like being able to sleep with out the drugged feeling in the morning.
I cut my hair again...REALLY short :)
I like it a bunch! It's spunky :) It feels so much cooler with the heat too.
I promise to write more later....
GOtta get ready for work!
Interesting song to remember so early in the am. Maybe one of these days I will find that book and find my name somewhere in it. Don't care about it anymore as far as a PARTNER goes. But I am well blessed with love from my family. Got to visit with Amanda and Zephyr on Saturday and into SUnday late morning. It is amazing at how Zephyr has grown. He is a sharp minded little boy! He figured out to keep me from taking his pacifier he could hug my neck. ;) Like I said...sharp. Amanda's starting to get color in her tattoo this visit. BEAUTIFUL work that Star does (Lone Star Tattoo) and I look forward to having a piece done by her also. I may have found who will tie all of my tattoos into one. I remembered a lot of "thoughts" this weekend. I find myself wanting to be away from those that use me. I am finding trust issues have surfaced. Or is it that I am being willful again in wanting what or whom I want?
I tire of the mental beating I give myself.
I have not been on antidepressants for MONTHS now. It feels good not taking them.
There was a reason to stop. No job...no money...and the free services you an get for mental health caused me to miss interviews adn then the Doctors I got to speak with did not see me as having an issue :)
Interesting, huh?
It is fine. I really like being able to sleep with out the drugged feeling in the morning.
I cut my hair again...REALLY short :)
I like it a bunch! It's spunky :) It feels so much cooler with the heat too.
I promise to write more later....
GOtta get ready for work!
Friday, May 23, 2008
I GOT A JOB TODAY!!!!!
THIS is the MOST fabulous recruiter
E V E R !!!!
Beverly Smith
Technical Recruiter
At-Tech Dallas
Phone: 972-312-1699
Toll Free: 866-205-2234
Fax: 972-312-9227
For all of my friends that are currently seeking employment.
CALL HER NOW
I start work on the May 28th and am so pleased at the efforts she went to in placing me into meetings with the company.
All in All .... it feels wonderful being employed again!
I want to thank all of you for your loving support and timely assistance in my confusion. Family and Friends...can't be with out the love and belief you have showered on me.
E V E R !!!!
Beverly Smith
Technical Recruiter
At-Tech Dallas
Phone: 972-312-1699
Toll Free: 866-205-2234
Fax: 972-312-9227
For all of my friends that are currently seeking employment.
CALL HER NOW
I PERSONALLY RECOMMEND HER!!
I start work on the May 28th and am so pleased at the efforts she went to in placing me into meetings with the company.
All in All .... it feels wonderful being employed again!
I want to thank all of you for your loving support and timely assistance in my confusion. Family and Friends...can't be with out the love and belief you have showered on me.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
having an interesting time on interviews
Today I had an interview for a job at a place where a friend of mine works. It was a lot of fun saying hi to people I had met at the company Christmas Party when I went with Joe. I even got a tour of the place! I also have 2 more interviews on Monday (1 is a 3rd time and I am to talk to the VP!) and am expecting to have the offers coming in on the Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
It has been really hard not having a job since January 15 of this year but with the wonderful help of friends and my sisters I have been able to do odd jobs for needed money to pay bills.
I thank you all for the wonderful support and good wishes in my search. I have noticed that the job market is pretty difficult of late for Technicians. Looking forward to getting my MS certifications started and do the testing. That may have made things a bit easier. I have been listed with 9 recruiting agencies, listed my cover letter in Craig's List, Career Builder, Monster, and Yahoo's Hot Jobs. Seems that a lot of companies now wish to "try before you buy" on employees these days. A few of the offers are to be contract to hire. A few are direct hire (which I prefer).
It is now a waiting game to see where I go.
I have been busy doing massages too. Thank you to my clients for enjoying my skills so much!
I am still filling out applications though because you never know if an offer is good or bad.
Joe actually wrote "Gopher it. The more irons in the fire the more cattle you can brand. . ."
and this made me laugh when I read it! Joe does not use that kind of aphorism normally.
But it did make me laugh and smile and that has been hard lately.
Except when I get to hear from my family.
All is good and I am waiting for good results.
It has been really hard not having a job since January 15 of this year but with the wonderful help of friends and my sisters I have been able to do odd jobs for needed money to pay bills.
I thank you all for the wonderful support and good wishes in my search. I have noticed that the job market is pretty difficult of late for Technicians. Looking forward to getting my MS certifications started and do the testing. That may have made things a bit easier. I have been listed with 9 recruiting agencies, listed my cover letter in Craig's List, Career Builder, Monster, and Yahoo's Hot Jobs. Seems that a lot of companies now wish to "try before you buy" on employees these days. A few of the offers are to be contract to hire. A few are direct hire (which I prefer).
It is now a waiting game to see where I go.
I have been busy doing massages too. Thank you to my clients for enjoying my skills so much!
I am still filling out applications though because you never know if an offer is good or bad.
Joe actually wrote "Gopher it. The more irons in the fire the more cattle you can brand. . ."
and this made me laugh when I read it! Joe does not use that kind of aphorism normally.
But it did make me laugh and smile and that has been hard lately.
Except when I get to hear from my family.
All is good and I am waiting for good results.
Daddy and Zephyr's FIRST carwash together....
Jordan and Zephyr are washing the car together on the visit for Mother's Day weekend. Well...Z is more into the water play I guess! They had a lot of fun and Z is trying to help with the bumper at least. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.
Friday, May 16, 2008
it is frustrating and then there is fun =D
so MANY interviews of late. starting to get a few second calls and then a few F2F...Face to face that is. There is one today at 1 PM which is a direct hire without going through a recruiter. I want this job! Close to home and I can walk there if I choose. maybe longer late hours but at least I can get home to take care of Jambalaya periodically.
he is still a puppy at 6 months and weighs in at 52 lbs. Got a training lead for him ( at a whale of a sale price ) It is a "gentle leader" that fits around muzzle. He isn't thrilled with it yet but he LISTENS to me while walking on it.
THIS is Zephyr gleefully laughing and posing after I snapped a serious photo of him eating his lunch. I got lucky in being able to catch that wonderful smile he shares. Oh yeah...he shares his P&B sandwich too as he kisses me! I loved it!
Zoom in on this photo folks and you will see the wonderful beginnings of Amanda's sleeve work. It has embodied all of her beliefs and feelings of her life. ABSOLUTELY stunning. It is only a light outline at this point...but it will be wonderful when finished.
My wonderful niece Chandra.... She bought me dinner on mothers day at her work and gave me an extra dessert to take home along with a ribbon to wear that said " A VERY Proud Mommie"
and absolutely true.
I got a call from Jason, too!
I have no recent pictures to post of him. Hopefully I will soon.
I called my momma and my stepmother and wished them well and happiness. I called my sisters too to wish them happiness on this human celebration of a day.
I need to go to an interview now so I am signing out. More updates later!
he is still a puppy at 6 months and weighs in at 52 lbs. Got a training lead for him ( at a whale of a sale price ) It is a "gentle leader" that fits around muzzle. He isn't thrilled with it yet but he LISTENS to me while walking on it.
THIS is Zephyr gleefully laughing and posing after I snapped a serious photo of him eating his lunch. I got lucky in being able to catch that wonderful smile he shares. Oh yeah...he shares his P&B sandwich too as he kisses me! I loved it!
Love this family of mine so much...
Zoom in on this photo folks and you will see the wonderful beginnings of Amanda's sleeve work. It has embodied all of her beliefs and feelings of her life. ABSOLUTELY stunning. It is only a light outline at this point...but it will be wonderful when finished.
I can appreciate her desire to hold dear her self expression and memories in ink.
My wonderful niece Chandra.... She bought me dinner on mothers day at her work and gave me an extra dessert to take home along with a ribbon to wear that said " A VERY Proud Mommie"
and absolutely true.
I got a call from Jason, too!
I have no recent pictures to post of him. Hopefully I will soon.
I called my momma and my stepmother and wished them well and happiness. I called my sisters too to wish them happiness on this human celebration of a day.
I need to go to an interview now so I am signing out. More updates later!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
where oh where are you tonight?
Wondering where my mind has gone again.
I search and search inside and it plays hide and seek.
not a good song to be singing...and it mostly relates to my non working status.
FRUSTRATION to the Nth degree,
Massages are doing okay. Painting houses and clearing land is okay too.
I find I have little patience anymore for those that choose drugs and LOTS of alcohol of late. I don't have that many friends anymore. They seem to disappear when you cannot always help them out.... or if you call with a need of assistance. Like a visit.
I love my girlfriends that I have
I think I am so finally pissed off at the male populace that it is painful. There are a few guys I can hang out with. NONE hold my heart anymore though.
well...
okay
My Son Jason , My Son in Law Jordan, my Grandson Zephyr, and my Daddy (as long as he doesn't lecture me) and my StepDad Michael, My bro in laws Doug and Gene....Oh Marty and Brian.
Yep that's all the ones that deserve my communication.
Then again there is Katie and Mike. Then Zac and Chris. I have a friend Chris J that is nice..he is a single Dad. Joe who is a big ol' bear :) and loves to watch movies with me.
Okay it isn't ALL of my friends...but there are some I THOUGHT were caring of me that do not
Maybe I am finally getting the lesson of not caring except in friendship.
I am angry that I can be so stupid as to really and truly care about a man and have them fail me again and again.
You suck, guys. You have lost the ability to not be so totally self centered. I do not understand it at all. Nor do I wish to pursue it.. at all.
Things are changing.
Looks like I will be taking a little trip to Atlanta GA for possible habitat change. Going to check with a few places and set up interviews.
Been saying goodbye to a few that I know I will miss. Won't tell the rest ...just fade away from memory. I am concerned about my clients though. The massages are so well received and I need to find a good couple of therapists to move them to them.
More later as I get the interviews set up.
See ya.
I search and search inside and it plays hide and seek.
not a good song to be singing...and it mostly relates to my non working status.
FRUSTRATION to the Nth degree,
Massages are doing okay. Painting houses and clearing land is okay too.
I find I have little patience anymore for those that choose drugs and LOTS of alcohol of late. I don't have that many friends anymore. They seem to disappear when you cannot always help them out.... or if you call with a need of assistance. Like a visit.
I love my girlfriends that I have
I think I am so finally pissed off at the male populace that it is painful. There are a few guys I can hang out with. NONE hold my heart anymore though.
well...
okay
My Son Jason , My Son in Law Jordan, my Grandson Zephyr, and my Daddy (as long as he doesn't lecture me) and my StepDad Michael, My bro in laws Doug and Gene....Oh Marty and Brian.
Yep that's all the ones that deserve my communication.
Then again there is Katie and Mike. Then Zac and Chris. I have a friend Chris J that is nice..he is a single Dad. Joe who is a big ol' bear :) and loves to watch movies with me.
Okay it isn't ALL of my friends...but there are some I THOUGHT were caring of me that do not
Maybe I am finally getting the lesson of not caring except in friendship.
I am angry that I can be so stupid as to really and truly care about a man and have them fail me again and again.
You suck, guys. You have lost the ability to not be so totally self centered. I do not understand it at all. Nor do I wish to pursue it.. at all.
Things are changing.
Looks like I will be taking a little trip to Atlanta GA for possible habitat change. Going to check with a few places and set up interviews.
Been saying goodbye to a few that I know I will miss. Won't tell the rest ...just fade away from memory. I am concerned about my clients though. The massages are so well received and I need to find a good couple of therapists to move them to them.
More later as I get the interviews set up.
See ya.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Yeah yeah I'm Walkin'....
Zephyr is taking us for a little walk around the apartments he lives in.
Daddy is great as his camera man!
Friday, April 18, 2008
harmonica fun
This is Selena Jade...she is 1 week younger than my wonderful Zephyr. One day...maybe...it will be that the two meet up again and remember each other!
Hey Z, I know you love music and so does Selena!
Hmmmm
Maybe a band soon?
Jordan (Zephyr's daddy) plays guitar and sings....Mark (Selena's daddy) plays drums and many other instruments like a didgeridoo.
This could be fun!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
A little joy in my life
I miss the Grandson Zephyr and here is his latest pictures
and This little guy's name?
Jambalaya
He makes be be responsible for things I forget. Like eating and going outside and laughter.
I am still stressed at not having a job. Working on a LOT of things about myself.
I am trying to get jobs that I am even overqualified for and nothing seems to be working. I haer that from several people I know and they are in the same situation.
Still working with Texas Labor Laws and how I was handled at the last job. Being fired while still covered by a doctor for FMLA...not a good deal in my opinion. We will see.
Otherwise I am still losing weight appropriately. Hired out by friends and family for manual labor which doesn't bother me but it is inconsistent and there are no health benefits :)
So far I don't need them :)
I hope to see my children again soon. Maybe I can get an interview that sends me to Orlando so I can see my Honey Boy, Jason.
I sure miss him. Since he moved there it has been oddly lacking in my life of my odd moments of geek with my son.
My daughter is doing well and her husband and son are well too.
My niece is as usually caring busy and living a good life. Busy busy busy
I have a couple of friends that visit. Linda lives in the complex where I live so that is really nice.
NO money or steady income means no traveling except to do odd jobs or for interviews. Hope Jamba learns to run next to the bike soon. He is okay but still a puppy so he is unfocused. I do not wish to be dragged off my bike unexpectedly.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow in the AM to x-ray the spine and see how the healing is progressing. STILL no pain!
Fantastic if you ask me. :)
So for now that is all there is.
Oh yeas...I do go to a HASH Crayfish boil the other night. Rob and Serena picked me up to go. Had a good time seeing some people I had not seen in 1.5 years. Heard the John is being sent back to Iraq and I am concerned on that. His birthday is the same as my baby sisters and we are the same age. If I dn't get a job soon..... I wonder if I can still go into the Armed Forces. It is a thought.
I have been helping a friend clear land and painting my sister's house on the inside. Maybe painting the other sister's home too soon.
Heard from Marty the other day! He called to harass me. That brought me great joy as he sounds so happy being married to MeYoung Hee.
Okay...time to continue searching!
Love
and This little guy's name?
Jambalaya
He makes be be responsible for things I forget. Like eating and going outside and laughter.
I am still stressed at not having a job. Working on a LOT of things about myself.
I am trying to get jobs that I am even overqualified for and nothing seems to be working. I haer that from several people I know and they are in the same situation.
Still working with Texas Labor Laws and how I was handled at the last job. Being fired while still covered by a doctor for FMLA...not a good deal in my opinion. We will see.
Otherwise I am still losing weight appropriately. Hired out by friends and family for manual labor which doesn't bother me but it is inconsistent and there are no health benefits :)
So far I don't need them :)
I hope to see my children again soon. Maybe I can get an interview that sends me to Orlando so I can see my Honey Boy, Jason.
I sure miss him. Since he moved there it has been oddly lacking in my life of my odd moments of geek with my son.
My daughter is doing well and her husband and son are well too.
My niece is as usually caring busy and living a good life. Busy busy busy
I have a couple of friends that visit. Linda lives in the complex where I live so that is really nice.
NO money or steady income means no traveling except to do odd jobs or for interviews. Hope Jamba learns to run next to the bike soon. He is okay but still a puppy so he is unfocused. I do not wish to be dragged off my bike unexpectedly.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow in the AM to x-ray the spine and see how the healing is progressing. STILL no pain!
Fantastic if you ask me. :)
So for now that is all there is.
Oh yeas...I do go to a HASH Crayfish boil the other night. Rob and Serena picked me up to go. Had a good time seeing some people I had not seen in 1.5 years. Heard the John is being sent back to Iraq and I am concerned on that. His birthday is the same as my baby sisters and we are the same age. If I dn't get a job soon..... I wonder if I can still go into the Armed Forces. It is a thought.
I have been helping a friend clear land and painting my sister's house on the inside. Maybe painting the other sister's home too soon.
Heard from Marty the other day! He called to harass me. That brought me great joy as he sounds so happy being married to MeYoung Hee.
Okay...time to continue searching!
Love
Monday, March 24, 2008
there once was a time.....
when i thought i had it down
that i could be anything and everywhere
sad realization
humanity is not so fun when you realize that you love your kids wonderfully deep and know to let them go their own way. then discover that you cannot make shit out of your life.
once held in love by a man (or that was what he said) and then to realize that his 'dream' only included him.
no more trust for males except my kids
period
you all suck
My caring middle sister,,,,i won't move into your home. you have a husband and the niece
which is too much and i don't want to have ANY issue with you or percieved events.
trust me it is best
Daddy I don't think you read these and that is okay
I unload what is happening here
I appreciate the assistance. I will return the money once the balance of my 401 arrives. then you will not hear from me again. is good i think.
then you won;t have to worry about 'lecturing'.
Jason I miss you something fierce
that i could be anything and everywhere
sad realization
humanity is not so fun when you realize that you love your kids wonderfully deep and know to let them go their own way. then discover that you cannot make shit out of your life.
once held in love by a man (or that was what he said) and then to realize that his 'dream' only included him.
no more trust for males except my kids
period
you all suck
My caring middle sister,,,,i won't move into your home. you have a husband and the niece
which is too much and i don't want to have ANY issue with you or percieved events.
trust me it is best
Daddy I don't think you read these and that is okay
I unload what is happening here
I appreciate the assistance. I will return the money once the balance of my 401 arrives. then you will not hear from me again. is good i think.
then you won;t have to worry about 'lecturing'.
Jason I miss you something fierce
Saturday, March 22, 2008
for those that are interested.....
- Let me know and I can email my resume to you.
Thanks for reading
Signing off now
i am FINE...really
Life is just a little difficult at the moment.
No job does that to you. No medical insurance. No life.
Not driving as much as possible. Hope the phone will be on for a while longer.
I have a pay as you go phone but once I make the next payment for time on it that will be IT
call the landline if you need me.
DO NOT call my cell please unless you are ATT or Cingular. I cannot afford you.
I cannot afford anything :)
Amazing what a job pays for.
Amazing that because I am 48 they don't want to hire me. Maybe my "experience" cost to much in the long run.
I can stay in my apartment until I can pay the rent on 4-20-08....
I hope I can be started at a job soon.
No I have not applied nor will I EVER work at McDonald's. Gak. Totally
I honestly have been walking and placing my resume all over the place.
I do not care if the EEOC causes S****** or not. OVER. I know they broke the rules by firing me while I was covered by FMLA. I reported it. It is up to the EEOC to decide if they wish to persecute or not. My manager was the one that did NOT want the paperwork I had for him.
Protected my job, eh? You decided that AFTER I was questioning your reasoning for putting an asshole on the 'supervisor' position who has a damn anger issue with people.
Went to bat for me, huh?
Yes I am PISSED at the occurrence, but I do trying to not care anymore. Interesting when I tell hiring agencies who I worked for that they tell ME that they have SEVERAL complaints about the company and no longer will send qualified applicants.
Normally I am a nice person. Always helping out in anyway I can....except in money cause I NEVER had money.
I find that there are a lot of things that are going away.
Who's next? If it is a job you think I can do please let me know?
No job does that to you. No medical insurance. No life.
Not driving as much as possible. Hope the phone will be on for a while longer.
I have a pay as you go phone but once I make the next payment for time on it that will be IT
call the landline if you need me.
DO NOT call my cell please unless you are ATT or Cingular. I cannot afford you.
I cannot afford anything :)
Amazing what a job pays for.
Amazing that because I am 48 they don't want to hire me. Maybe my "experience" cost to much in the long run.
I can stay in my apartment until I can pay the rent on 4-20-08....
I hope I can be started at a job soon.
No I have not applied nor will I EVER work at McDonald's. Gak. Totally
I honestly have been walking and placing my resume all over the place.
I do not care if the EEOC causes S****** or not. OVER. I know they broke the rules by firing me while I was covered by FMLA. I reported it. It is up to the EEOC to decide if they wish to persecute or not. My manager was the one that did NOT want the paperwork I had for him.
Protected my job, eh? You decided that AFTER I was questioning your reasoning for putting an asshole on the 'supervisor' position who has a damn anger issue with people.
Went to bat for me, huh?
Yes I am PISSED at the occurrence, but I do trying to not care anymore. Interesting when I tell hiring agencies who I worked for that they tell ME that they have SEVERAL complaints about the company and no longer will send qualified applicants.
Normally I am a nice person. Always helping out in anyway I can....except in money cause I NEVER had money.
I find that there are a lot of things that are going away.
Who's next? If it is a job you think I can do please let me know?
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