dreams at night

curl into me and rest
place your head on my heart
relax into the dreaming time
see the peace and rest

remember to breath
sometime soon the leaves will turn
the sky will open
stars set bright

hearing the words
"to leave all to love"
this is the best release
healing begins in my own heart

laying on my bed I awake
smiling and rested well
I realize that it is my choice
"to leave all to love" is the best

no more the worries or sadness
tears have stopped
i smile
resting my dreams in the places they belong
"to leave all to love" is the best

Big Red Spicer

Big Red Spicer, icon of the running community, Race Director extraordinaire, Friend, Lover, Father, Poet, Trail Builder, Veteran, Comedian, Moonshiner, Hater of Dogs and Democrats, Rascal for all ages, has slipped into a coma and will leave us in a couple of days.
His daughter is at his side and at peace.
Red knows he was loved and has loved much in return. He was held and kissed innumerable times. He is no longer scared. He is already at peace.
There will be a weekend of celebration in his honor next year in June in Palo Duro Canyon. Red's birthday was June 1st. Details will follow.
At the celebration, there will be a run, hamburgers, blues music, a campfire and great quanities of "cold beer." We'll all be able to speak then -- and remember the man who enriched our lives with the funniest stories and that great Southern Charm.Red's ashes will be spread on his family land in North Carolina following cremation.
Palo Duro 50M/50K/20K will go on as planned. Race entries are pouring in, and in true Red fashion, the plans were transfered to Bill and Wynn before he got too ill. Bill and Wynn enourage everyone to enter the race if they wish to run, but are also eager to welcome you into the volunteer family should you wish to participate in that way.

REMEMBER: "Life is a headlong rush into the unknown. You can either hunker down and hope nothing hits you; or you can stand tall, lean into the wind and yell, 'bring it on darlin' and don't be stingy with the Jalapenos."

With much love and the reminder that we are love



~~~~~~~~~
Thank you, Antje, for the information....

a long awaited visit

it was a really fun day today.
relaxed and interesting. i went and visited toni and steve today.
fed ducks, had lunch, and went shopping at big lots:)

i notice that i still shy away from discussing politics.. a lot.. but that is okay

had 2 zipped up GA's (with cranberry and ginseng tea) and it was yummy!
i still love ginger ale :)

got to play with the kitties some too. i miss my cats.
it was really nice to just visit. i had fun driving them both around and telling some of what is around here. naturally it was with a lot of things i like to visit :)

going to share movies of the grandson and pics with them,too. i decided it will be easier doing cd's :)
email is hard long upload on some of them.

toni is doing good and very hopeful of the outcome of the transplant. i really hope that the money is raised soon.

it is nice to see them happy together. i was glad the timing was good to visit as they live near me now.... which in a selfish way we agreed that it makes it easier for the kids to visit more parents and less travel time spent on the road :)

i am pleased and content.

:D

off to visit my mom...

Cannot change anything about Red Spicer passing from this life to the next.
Working this weekend but taking my laptop with me so I can SEE my Momma. I miss her a LOT and look forward to the visit.

I'll write more later :)

For Toni Vogel... PLEASE HELP HER IN THIS TIME

My daughter Amanda (Bella) sends this out and I want to help!

For Toni Vogel, Wife to Steve Vogel....
PLEASE, help if you can.... She is an amazing woman.

National Transplant Assistance Fund

Hi Everyone!
Bella here to help my dad and step mom reach out - my stepmother, Toni was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

This week, she was accepted into the National Transplant Assistance Fund where her and my dad hope to raise the $25,000.00 it will take for her transplant surgery. She has been a long standing advocate for science and research and will be participating with a Stem Cell transplant to her spine. The operation and study are only a few years old, and therefore not covered by insurance.


I'm lousy at pitching the facts that are far better explained on the website. Please see below for the link directly to her page and while you are there, feel free to read up on the organization, the procedures and the rates of success. Currently, the doctors have given Toni roughly 10 years... I'd like her to stick around to see our son (and her two other grandchildren from my stepsister) grow up.


Please help in any way that you can - whether it's with a donation or just a kind word of support on her guest book.


http://www. transplantfund. org/Restricted/patient-guestbook. cfm?pat_id=2580

maybe back to plano???

Yeah, I need to move away from the accessibility of a few people.
I think that maybe Plano may be calling my name. I gotta wait for the end of the lease and to see if my office moves.
All dependent on other actions outside of my control.

Sometimes no matter how you try to help or listen to another...you have to cut them loose and let the birds fly or fall to their death far down below.
I cannot rescue anyone but myself.

and I don't want to rescue anyone either

I deserve a lot better than this.

merry-go-round???

Jeeze Louise!

I finally decide to move closer to work. then news comes that makes that decision a moot point.
It maybe that my company is going to relocate. Not exactly sure where, but perhaps closer to my apartment.
Now I am in a wait and see position. Again.
Sometimes I really wonder about why it is I make a decision after CAREFULLY weighing the pluses and minuses, research the locations, do a financial schematic of the checks and values of such a move..... and all for a "wait! not totally there yet!"

GRRRRR

I was looking forward to this too. Canal Side Lofts would have been wonderful!
I like the community and the area. Places to ride my bike and lots of area to let my dog run and play with me. A community that was 3 blocks from work. I could have parked my truck and lessened my need of fuel by WALKING to work or riding my bike.
I had already planned on being home more with Jambalaya and meeting new people in my neighbor hood. I was looking forward to it. REALLY looking forward to it.

Now I wait, possibly until March of '09, until the truth and decision is made for my work location.
My lease ends here on January 31,2009.
I do not want to pay month to month because that avenue is expensive.
I don't want to sign another contract either. I have a choice of 6 months or 12 months. I wanted a place that had amenities that were FUN. THe place I live in a fantastic. It is quiet (mostly retired folks here) and has a wonderful look to the grounds. Very close to Addison Circle.
Canal Side Lofts had this as entertainment:

Outdoor Features & Amenities

• Main Event Sports Bar, bank of Plasma TVs
• Pool Table and Foosball
• Hi-Def Movie Experience Theater
• Critic’s Corner Outdoor Theater
• Multi-Player "Live" Gaming Center
• Ring Side, Full-Size Boxing Ring
• Indoor Basketball Court
• Cardio Focused Workout Facility
• Strength Training Center
• Urban Garden with Water Features, Outdoor Fireplace and "Self" Space
• Infinity Edge Heated Pool with Eclectic Lighting
• Wi-Fi Hot Spots at Pool, Clubhouse and Urban Garden
• DSL & Cable Broadband Internet
• Controlled Access
• On-site "Suds" Room
• Multi-Level Parking Garages
• Canal, Pool and Urban Garden Views
• A Whole Lotta "Club" House
• Highly functional
• Highly entertaining
• You’re sure to find a venue that meets your desire and the urban beat of Las Colinas is at your feet

Where I live now has 2 tennis courts, a pool and a hot tub.
They do NO resident activities at all. No meet and greets except for 1 time a year and usually I am working during the event.
The office isn't even friendly anymore.
No secured access. I don't like that anymore.
I live right behind Qurum Park and that is pretty, but there is NO PLACE TO LET MY DOG RUN!!!

I normally am patient on stuff. Changing like the wind when I need to.
This time I am disappointed.
I really was enthused about Canal Side Lofts.

Okay so there IS light at the end of a day:

Symphonic Saturdays

8/2/2008, 8:00 PM to
8/23/2008, 10:00 PM

Official Summer Series Website

When: August 2, 9, 16, 23, 2008 8 pm – 10pm

Where: Esplanade Park, Between Quorum Drive & The Dallas Parkway, Addison, Texas

What: Enjoy summer evenings under the stars in the beautiful Addison Circle Esplanade Park!

Listen to live music from Dallas Wind Symphony and Richardson Symphony Orchestra while you picnic or dine in one of the great Addison Circle restaurants.

Cost: FREE

2008 SYMPONIC SATURDAYS SCHEDULE

August 2nd - Dallas Wind Symphony - Saxophone Quartet

August 9th - Richardson Symphony Orchestra - 16 Piece String Ensemble

August 16th - Dallas Wind Symphony - Tuba Quartet

August 23rd - Richardson Symphony Orchestra - Brass Quintet

Think I will go tonight and enjoy it. I wonder If I can take my dog......

yep...moving plans again

once my lease is done I am done with Addison.
Looking to move to Las Colinas so I can easily walk to work and not have my dog in a kennel so long.
Maybe I can stay out of trouble there. The bike park I like to ride in is there also.
I think it is the best idea I have had yet. I don't party or play anymore so being near to Jambalaya is a god thing. I will be taking on ON CALL soon at work and it will be best to be close by if needed.
It will be okay to park my truck and not use it so much.
The place I am looking at is a little more than I want to pay but the balance sheet makes it a good deal (especially if there is a special) to do.

Life is very strange when you realize that you really cannot count on anyone but your self. I KNOW my kids I can depend on to grow. But having someone say they will be there and then they are not just sucks. I no longer trust.
PERIOD

I think I can enjoy doing my own stuff and if someone wants to join in that is okay. But not in my home.
Okay
NOW I am tired.

Night