where oh where are you tonight?

Wondering where my mind has gone again.
I search and search inside and it plays hide and seek.

not a good song to be singing...and it mostly relates to my non working status.
FRUSTRATION to the Nth degree,

Massages are doing okay. Painting houses and clearing land is okay too.

I find I have little patience anymore for those that choose drugs and LOTS of alcohol of late. I don't have that many friends anymore. They seem to disappear when you cannot always help them out.... or if you call with a need of assistance. Like a visit.

I love my girlfriends that I have
I think I am so finally pissed off at the male populace that it is painful. There are a few guys I can hang out with. NONE hold my heart anymore though.

well...
okay



My Son Jason , My Son in Law Jordan, my Grandson Zephyr, and my Daddy (as long as he doesn't lecture me) and my StepDad Michael, My bro in laws Doug and Gene....Oh Marty and Brian.

Yep that's all the ones that deserve my communication.
Then again there is Katie and Mike. Then Zac and Chris. I have a friend Chris J that is nice..he is a single Dad. Joe who is a big ol' bear :) and loves to watch movies with me.


Okay it isn't ALL of my friends...but there are some I THOUGHT were caring of me that do not

Maybe I am finally getting the lesson of not caring except in friendship.
I am angry that I can be so stupid as to really and truly care about a man and have them fail me again and again.

You suck, guys. You have lost the ability to not be so totally self centered. I do not understand it at all. Nor do I wish to pursue it.. at all.

Things are changing.
Looks like I will be taking a little trip to Atlanta GA for possible habitat change. Going to check with a few places and set up interviews.

Been saying goodbye to a few that I know I will miss. Won't tell the rest ...just fade away from memory. I am concerned about my clients though. The massages are so well received and I need to find a good couple of therapists to move them to them.

More later as I get the interviews set up.

See ya.

Yeah yeah I'm Walkin'....

Zephyr is taking us for a little walk around the apartments he lives in.
Daddy is great as his camera man!

harmonica fun

This is Selena Jade...she is 1 week younger than my wonderful Zephyr. One day...maybe...it will be that the two meet up again and remember each other!
Hey Z, I know you love music and so does Selena!

Hmmmm
Maybe a band soon?
Jordan (Zephyr's daddy) plays guitar and sings....Mark (Selena's daddy) plays drums and many other instruments like a didgeridoo.

This could be fun!

A little joy in my life

I miss the Grandson Zephyr and here is his latest pictures

and This little guy's name?

Jambalaya
He makes be be responsible for things I forget. Like eating and going outside and laughter.

I am still stressed at not having a job. Working on a LOT of things about myself.
I am trying to get jobs that I am even overqualified for and nothing seems to be working. I haer that from several people I know and they are in the same situation.

Still working with Texas Labor Laws and how I was handled at the last job. Being fired while still covered by a doctor for FMLA...not a good deal in my opinion. We will see.

Otherwise I am still losing weight appropriately. Hired out by friends and family for manual labor which doesn't bother me but it is inconsistent and there are no health benefits :)
So far I don't need them :)

I hope to see my children again soon. Maybe I can get an interview that sends me to Orlando so I can see my Honey Boy, Jason.
I sure miss him. Since he moved there it has been oddly lacking in my life of my odd moments of geek with my son.

My daughter is doing well and her husband and son are well too.
My niece is as usually caring busy and living a good life. Busy busy busy
I have a couple of friends that visit. Linda lives in the complex where I live so that is really nice.
NO money or steady income means no traveling except to do odd jobs or for interviews. Hope Jamba learns to run next to the bike soon. He is okay but still a puppy so he is unfocused. I do not wish to be dragged off my bike unexpectedly.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow in the AM to x-ray the spine and see how the healing is progressing. STILL no pain!
Fantastic if you ask me. :)

So for now that is all there is.

Oh yeas...I do go to a HASH Crayfish boil the other night. Rob and Serena picked me up to go. Had a good time seeing some people I had not seen in 1.5 years. Heard the John is being sent back to Iraq and I am concerned on that. His birthday is the same as my baby sisters and we are the same age. If I dn't get a job soon..... I wonder if I can still go into the Armed Forces. It is a thought.

I have been helping a friend clear land and painting my sister's house on the inside. Maybe painting the other sister's home too soon.

Heard from Marty the other day! He called to harass me. That brought me great joy as he sounds so happy being married to MeYoung Hee.

Okay...time to continue searching!

Love