fast changes!

FAST CHANGES

Talk about skill!
My best friend has often complained about how long it takes me to change clothes.
Now, I will never be able to convince him I am fast at it!

LOL

Enjoy!
(I watched it 4 times!)

when you worry about the ones you love

It is peaceful inside my heart tonight. Even though I hold great concern on several of my friends. I do not talk that often of my faith but I feel the need at this moment to write a few things down. Thanks for reading.

I have had to learn a great lesson that makes me sometimes feel distant. I want to be available to listen and to hold you when you cry or need to talk. The reason? I feel that by my attention of just being "there" and sending loving and restful confidence that there are answers and there are good things to come does help.
Even if no words are spoken. I stay around you and open my heart. Hoping that you can feel how it may help you to experience your hurts with confidence.
I trust in a belief that all are connected. Each action affects so many others down the line. I want the same returned to me.
I expect it.
It happens.
I hold deep gratitude for my life being graced by those that come and go. There is no smallness in any interaction I have with people. I do not however jeapordize my own health or sanity for another.

To each of my friends, and aquaintences, I wish you enough.

Simply that. I wish you enough.

it was a story that was passed around along time ago....To wish someone enough of all their needs and wants. Courage and acceptance.
Time and love with laughter.

I care deeply what is transpiring for you at this time. I hear the confusion and hurt. The worry, fears, and angers. The lonliness is something that I suggest you look at closely and remember to cherish those around you.

Again this is for many of my friends. I refuse to name you or single you out in any form. Individually, each of you have blessed me with confidence with the attention to our friendship. Sometime, I am sure, I will be able to find my own strength bolstered up by those of you that I know today.

I love you all.
I care very deeply about you all.

and...


please remember...


Family can be friends.
Friends can be Family.

2nd purchase for grandson

My first purchase was 2 'tye dyed' star shaped lamps to hang from the ceiling. Bright colors and very entertaining!

The purchase I made today is the softest little outfit for him. It has little ears at the top of the hood so he will look like a snuggly bear cub. Soft soft blue.
It has little mitts that will cover his hands and footed feet. A full body soft edge zipper and a little pocket
on the left front hip.
It is so soft it is like cashmere velour.

I know it is early. But is it possible that it is going to be cold when he comes home.

It is really the first thing I have gone out and intentionally purchased for him. I am so excited about the baby.

I would like to start using a name but I know he will be My Cuddly Boy anyway. I look forward to learning his name. (hint hint Amanda and Jordan)

I have no fear about Amanda and Jordan's capabilities at being great parents.

It is late adn time for bed.
Tomorrow is a busy day with Marty's grand nephews 1st birthday party and then a wedding for some climbing friends of ours. Marty's daughter Tracy is riding with us so it will be a blast!

Love to all...

and time to do nothing :)

all roads that lead to good deeds are paved with good intentions.

I know...it is a bit weird sounding but I mean it just like I wrote it.
I had intended on doing these things I wrote about. Instead I enjoyed doing absolutely nothing today.
All day.
Except for when I went and spent time with my daughter. There are a lot of memories to share. Knowledges that I had forgotten about. The comforting touch of Momma helping to ease the hurts. Soothing and making her child laugh.
Inside I am thrilled Amanda. To get to sit and talk to you of how it felt being pregnant with you.
Knowing you share the same exact emotion of questions that every woman has.

Something no male will ever experience. A kinship with complete creativity.

THe moments of laying on the bed and talking with you and laughing with you are most precious. To feel the grandson kicking about and knowing you are uncomfortable but trying to get you to focus on the amazing changes. You have a wonderful sense of closeness with your son. Jordan has this also. The amazing thing is to feel the common bond of mother and child and child. I know I come in and start doing things like busy work right away, but once it is done I can relax and enjoy you. Stroking your tummy and watching it jump. Truly delightful my Elven Child.

The time spent doing absolutely nothing is most precious when it contains shared moments of my memories.
Laughter at positioning and small stretches.

I remember getting to talk to my Momma about a few things. I stayed silent on a lot though. Wish I hadn't. It may have been much easier emotionally if I had. All great moments Amanda. Remember them.

I really needed today.

LOTS to do

Well I think it is going to be so fun with the grandchild arriving. I am having a baby shower for my daughter. Since they have a lot of male friends this is going to be a co-ed event!
Don't worry guys. THere is a way to be safe :)
Amanda stated that if you did not find somethign that you wanted toassist with, there is a solution: Gift cards from IKEA. It seems that the IKEA store has accessories that go along the lines of the 'theme' for the baby room.
nature, moon and stars kinda deal I think.

I don't care :) I gave them 2 Tye Dyed Lights in the shape of stars.
Covered the hippie grandmother and galactic views all in one swoop!

Today I am finishing up Amanda's maternity and after maternity skirt. I then am planning on starting to make some baby quilts.

It has been so nice being able to be active again. I ride my bike and I climb. It is still noticeable though when the air is heavy that I still have an issue with my breathing.
I will check back in with Dr Sastry on Monday about the med change he was interested in trying. I have been doing so good of late that I do not want to back slide.

Today I am ready to ride some in the rain, clean, then sew.

It really feels nice to be just me.

today a recognition

That no matter what I WANT in the way of love...I seem to choose incorrectly.
I had a boyfriend for a little while. Actually he referred to himself as my boyfriend.
I never heard him say I was his girlfriend. I heard him say I love you....but there is much he keeps secret about his decisions and desires.
It also didn't help in that he was having emotional issues occuring in his life.

Everyone needs to grow to their best potential.
I hope you are doing that my Lost Love.

I am moving on.
I miss you and will continue to do so.

more on the physical sense

It feels good to be active again. I had an appointment with the pulmonary specialist on Friday. I am back to 85% now on breathing!
This is tremendous considering how it has been.
I am totally thrilled!
I have done a little climbing...and some bike riding of late. Marty has a route called "Seven Bridges" (love CSN&Y) and it is 9.4 miles (today) with variance of distance available. It is a beautiful path. Lots of curves adn places to cross water (hence the name?) It takes an average of an hour. I haven't been able to ride that much so I sometimes have an issue with keeping up with Marty now.
(I used to waste his out on the trails!)
It is wonderful to ride in the cool mornings. To feel the breeze dry my body as I fly down the path. The smells of the grass and trees is so refreshing considering we live with so much concrete and fumes. I didn't have much of a hard time at all today. I look forward to it getting easier and then increasing the intensity and length of the work out. By next summer I plan on not having issues with my breathiing.
Marty and I are geting rid of some stuff in the house. Dejunking. I get to find out when our other roommate moves in soon.

It has been interesting at work of late. I don't feel the amount of pressures I had felt before. I have been talking with the psychologist and psychatrist and i do agree that for now stability is best. So I am not planning on seeking another job for a while. I have a lot to learn here.
A lot.
I am pleased though with how much I have accumulated in knowledge and demonstrated in apptitude since December 2006.

I massaged Amanda on Wednesday night. I got a very solid thump from my grandson.
Thrilled me totally and then I started to tear up a little.
Remembering when I felt her inside my belly kicking. Wishing all could feel the amazing motions that were not mine but belonged within me.
I remember feeling Jason in the same way...but he moved differently than Amanda did.
Odd little memory.

I miss my boyfriend Dan. I had a fantastic time when we were together. There are things that people need to grow through however.
It is okay and we talk as friends. Life has to be settled within before you truly can live and love life outside. I have several friends that I have been visiting with of late. I want to get to school. This is important to me. I love the stimulation and the increase of knowledge isn't bad at all. I don't have to go for grades either.

I really am feeling like I am balanced again in the head. I love being outside and am pleased that I can go around and about again.
Next week I want to take my bike to work with me. That way I can stop on the trails on the way home. Then when Marty gets home maybe I can ride with him too. I want to be in good enough condition by next summer that riding my bike to work is easy. I think it is a great way to save on truck expenses and gas too.

I need a shower!
Ugh...

I also have a few PC repairs to do today :)
Geek girl :)

Love to all!