A person I work with smiled at me today and said he was glad I was here.
Here
That is an amazing thing at the moment.
I look into the past and see the times that I could have not been here.
Living a human life has its endings too.
Here
Time transfers all feelings into a mental status.
Rememberance
I remember a lot of events. They all have my own perceptions of what occured however.
There are facts that are related to articles that became written.
Someone elses perceptions of that time.
Dance tonight in celebration of the moment.
Sing tonight in joy of just being you.
I read a lot of what is said about upcoming events.
I pick and choose my experiences.
I am delighted with them ALL.
A dear one of mine did what I aspire to do.
Speak no ill of anyone.
I cannot judge what is right or wrong from their perception.
I can explicate my own self and ideas.
Solitude can be painful. We as humans exsist in a world. Not on an island bereft of contact.
Pain lessens when you interact with others. No comparison will suffice. Each is unique in themselves.
There have been mentionings of issues with a couple of burners and myself.
I harbor no ill.
I do make my choices on my interactions however.
I contact a lot of people in the burning community adn outside of it.
I once described to a friend that I had several different groups I was involved with. Sometimes the worlds do not mingle well. It isn't my choice to have them segregated. It is necessary for the balance of those I would choose to intermingle however.
Some have ego's that are easily injured.
Some have ego's that are as thick as 4 ft leather left outside to harden.
I was only hear for a short span of time in this life.
I am enjoying it as it is.
Love is a tremendous thing when you do not put conditions on it.
THIS IS NOT MEANT TO SUSTAIN ANY PARTICULAR RELIGION OR BELIEF:
I liked it a lot though and thought I would share it...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a blind girl who hated herself because of her blindness.
Not only did she hate herself but she hated everyone else, except
her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if
she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could
see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you
marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was
blind too, and refused to marry him.
I found this to be very poignant and really made me think. My hope
is that it will bless each of you. Doe Her boyfriend walked
away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her that simply said.
"Just take care of my eyes dear."
This is how the human brain changes when our status changes.
Only a few remember what life was like before
and even fewer remember who to thank for always being there even
when times were painfully unbearable.
Life Is a Gift
Today before you think of saying an unkind word - Think of someone
who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
who Has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to God for a companion.
Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too
Early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who
desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn't clean or
sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the
unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one
maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on
your Face and thank God you're alive and still around.
Life is a gift, live it, enjoy it, celebrate it, and fulfill it.
RELISH THE MOMENT, IT MAY NOT COME AROUND AGAIN.
Be Blessed
Love to all!
Circe
Monday, February 26, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Leslie Glenn Bavousett 11/8/1956 - 2/19/2007
He was my heart. My love, my friend of my teen years, my coming of age, and throughout my life.
I met Leslie when I was 15 and started attending High School in Keller. It took me a week of stopping in at Food Fare (grocery store he worked at - a dairy stocker at that) to get the courage to ask him if he was going to the Sock Hop the school was holding. I "slyly" told him I wanted to go but didn't know anyone yet.
He shyly grinned and quietly told me he had some people he was going with but he could pick me up to get me there if I wanted. I was thrilled to the end of my toes!
I thought he was so wonderful with those beautiful blue eyes and that thick golden blond hair. Leslie had a wicked sense of humor and laughed. A sweet man.
I learned so much with Leslie. He and I were our first for each other.
We were together at his last breath this morning at 10:45 AM.
I remember him and Bob Right chasing the girls around the halls at school with their overalls one. They would put their finger out the fly and chase the girls wiggling the finger and telling them that they were "coming for them!". He was a gentle practical joker. He had some very deep feelings that we would talk about and cry over.
Hours of talk. Hours of dreams. Hours of dancing, just us two. Under the stars we would lay on top of our cars until my Mom would 'flicker the porch light' as a signal to come in. A fast but lingering kiss and I would slide of the hood and sashay my butt inside. He would always whistle at me as I walked.
I would sneak him into my house after all went to sleep and we would curl up in my bed kissing and cuddling and talking for hours.
Until the sunlight started peaking in the sky. The he would quietly (as a souped up Grand Torino could be) drive away.
Other nights I would sneak into his bedroom window and we would lay in his bed with the music playing and kiss and cuddle until the sunlight would start to lighten the sky and then I would leave as quietly as a souped up GTO could.
We never fooled anyone :)
There is so much about Les that I find dances in my memories. He was the ONE Love that all girls dream of.
I was lucky to have him in my heart and in my life.
I was not brave enough to always include him totally.
This is the hardest thing that I have EVER done in my life.
Youth presents so many choices. There are paths that we take thinking it is what must be done.
I became so impatient in waiting. I never was good about that. I think I have learned though in a few areas. Leslie was a man about the details. A CPA and a fine one at that. He was always patient and tender.
I listened to tears of pain and of joy with him. He was the father of my first pregnancy just before I turned 18. We agreed to abort the pregnancy. I found out it was twins and I believe they were boys in my heart.
2 days before I turned 18 we ended the pregnancy. A choice we talked long and hard about. It was not easy. Les was so very supportive and protective of me in the gentlest of ways.
He was so upset that I carried in my Father's luggage the day after the procedure. I was not to do anything but I was hiding what had happened from my Dad. The night of my 18th birthday party I was in my room on my bed hurting and crying. A family friend came downstairs to see why I was missing. He tried to 'bounce me ' out of bed and I thought Les was going to kill the man. He shoved Dennis clear across my bedroom and told him to leave in a dangerously quiet voice. I never had fear concerning Les, until that moment. He could have killed Dennis for causing me more pain. Dennis didn't know and he 'bounced me' by pushing on my stomach. Like trying to wake a child. He didn't know.
My Momma knew what had been done but was following our wishes of silence.
I told Leslie's brother, Ferris, of the pregnancy in Sunday afternoon. I was getting ready to take Zephyr (my grandson) back to his mother and was returning the next day to spend the last hours of Leslie's life with him uninterrupted.
Ferris asked me why we never married and I told him. It was a misconception of a belief on my part. Leslie, Byron and Ferris' dad had told me to "leave Les alone.
That I was not good enough for him."
I shoved my fist through a tiled wall that day. I worked at Dairy Queen and I went into the bathroom and punched a hole through a 2x4 wooden stud and tiled wall. I paid dearly for that heart break. the broken knuckle I never had fixed and I worked with it. I paid to have the wall repaired.
I moved on and stole as much time as I could with Les.
He moved to Waco after graduation. He was Valedictorian and I was SO proud of him!
There is so much about Les that I love. Loved. Forever will love.
I cannot write it all at this time.
I have to remember first.
It is all mixed up at this time.
We always danced together. With and without music. We would sing together.
I practiced writing my name as his wife.
I have all of his letters still.
I felt abandoned and left behind.
It was all my young impatience that caused the worries instead of my trust that he was doing the best he knew how and in the proper way he thought would benefit us both.
Life has a way of working things to be the best.
I met Stephen and loved him too.
I chose to marry Stephen and thus I have the greatest gifts of my life.
Amanda and Jason.
Les has always been there through it all.
We talked of trying to be together after I divorced.
I would not move to Austin.
I wanted my kids to be near their father. I did what I felt was best for them.
All parents do that, I believe. At least I tried to believe it.
Stephen is a wonderful father and now we have a grandson.
Zephyr Hendrix has a purpose in life.
Stephen is happy in his second marriage.
I do not intend to ever marry again.
I miss Leslie deeply and with all my heart.
I have loved him totally all these 32 years.
His brothers told me he NEVER stopped loving me. Even through two "awful marriages" and divorces. The say he NEVER spoke ill of me.
I have never stopped nor ever will stop loving Les.
Sometimes in life you do not get to be with your one true love.
There are many loves in life however.
Because of Leslie I learned that I am and was worth loving.
I sang to him, I held him, I kissed him as his last breath left his body. I saw his eyes go out as his soul left.
Last night I felt and went through his dreams with him. I told him I was staying the night with him and I would not leave him.
He sat up in bed, opened his eyes wide, looked directly into mine and said loudly "YES". Leslie has not been to talk or sit up for a couple of weeks now.
He sat up on Sunday to look at my grandson while I changed his diaper. He wanted to meet Zephyr. He had talked with my children through the years. He had visited us and stayed with me.
I cannot think of all the things I want to write about.
I am glad I was there at the beginning and at the end of his life.
I will be busy writing more of him.
Right now I am helping by locating pictures I can share of Les with his family.
The viewing is on Wednesday. The funeral for his body is on Thursday.
Les is not gone. He lives in my heart. He lives in my dreams and in my memories.
It is not often that one has a life love that they share.
We could not be together in life. We are always together in heart and soul.
His brothers told me I was his Redheaded Flame.
He was my Golden Sun with the Sky in his eyes.
This is something we always called each other.
Leslie Glenn Bavousett, I love you. I am glad your body is at rest and that your pain has ceased.
I was there to hold you to your freedom.
You are welcome to walk into my window anytime you want.
Thank you for all you were and are at this time.
Perfectly Spiritual and Forever My Golden Sun with the Sky.
I met Leslie when I was 15 and started attending High School in Keller. It took me a week of stopping in at Food Fare (grocery store he worked at - a dairy stocker at that) to get the courage to ask him if he was going to the Sock Hop the school was holding. I "slyly" told him I wanted to go but didn't know anyone yet.
He shyly grinned and quietly told me he had some people he was going with but he could pick me up to get me there if I wanted. I was thrilled to the end of my toes!
I thought he was so wonderful with those beautiful blue eyes and that thick golden blond hair. Leslie had a wicked sense of humor and laughed. A sweet man.
I learned so much with Leslie. He and I were our first for each other.
We were together at his last breath this morning at 10:45 AM.
I remember him and Bob Right chasing the girls around the halls at school with their overalls one. They would put their finger out the fly and chase the girls wiggling the finger and telling them that they were "coming for them!". He was a gentle practical joker. He had some very deep feelings that we would talk about and cry over.
Hours of talk. Hours of dreams. Hours of dancing, just us two. Under the stars we would lay on top of our cars until my Mom would 'flicker the porch light' as a signal to come in. A fast but lingering kiss and I would slide of the hood and sashay my butt inside. He would always whistle at me as I walked.
I would sneak him into my house after all went to sleep and we would curl up in my bed kissing and cuddling and talking for hours.
Until the sunlight started peaking in the sky. The he would quietly (as a souped up Grand Torino could be) drive away.
Other nights I would sneak into his bedroom window and we would lay in his bed with the music playing and kiss and cuddle until the sunlight would start to lighten the sky and then I would leave as quietly as a souped up GTO could.
We never fooled anyone :)
There is so much about Les that I find dances in my memories. He was the ONE Love that all girls dream of.
I was lucky to have him in my heart and in my life.
I was not brave enough to always include him totally.
This is the hardest thing that I have EVER done in my life.
Youth presents so many choices. There are paths that we take thinking it is what must be done.
I became so impatient in waiting. I never was good about that. I think I have learned though in a few areas. Leslie was a man about the details. A CPA and a fine one at that. He was always patient and tender.
I listened to tears of pain and of joy with him. He was the father of my first pregnancy just before I turned 18. We agreed to abort the pregnancy. I found out it was twins and I believe they were boys in my heart.
2 days before I turned 18 we ended the pregnancy. A choice we talked long and hard about. It was not easy. Les was so very supportive and protective of me in the gentlest of ways.
He was so upset that I carried in my Father's luggage the day after the procedure. I was not to do anything but I was hiding what had happened from my Dad. The night of my 18th birthday party I was in my room on my bed hurting and crying. A family friend came downstairs to see why I was missing. He tried to 'bounce me ' out of bed and I thought Les was going to kill the man. He shoved Dennis clear across my bedroom and told him to leave in a dangerously quiet voice. I never had fear concerning Les, until that moment. He could have killed Dennis for causing me more pain. Dennis didn't know and he 'bounced me' by pushing on my stomach. Like trying to wake a child. He didn't know.
My Momma knew what had been done but was following our wishes of silence.
I told Leslie's brother, Ferris, of the pregnancy in Sunday afternoon. I was getting ready to take Zephyr (my grandson) back to his mother and was returning the next day to spend the last hours of Leslie's life with him uninterrupted.
Ferris asked me why we never married and I told him. It was a misconception of a belief on my part. Leslie, Byron and Ferris' dad had told me to "leave Les alone.
That I was not good enough for him."
I shoved my fist through a tiled wall that day. I worked at Dairy Queen and I went into the bathroom and punched a hole through a 2x4 wooden stud and tiled wall. I paid dearly for that heart break. the broken knuckle I never had fixed and I worked with it. I paid to have the wall repaired.
I moved on and stole as much time as I could with Les.
He moved to Waco after graduation. He was Valedictorian and I was SO proud of him!
There is so much about Les that I love. Loved. Forever will love.
I cannot write it all at this time.
I have to remember first.
It is all mixed up at this time.
We always danced together. With and without music. We would sing together.
I practiced writing my name as his wife.
I have all of his letters still.
I felt abandoned and left behind.
It was all my young impatience that caused the worries instead of my trust that he was doing the best he knew how and in the proper way he thought would benefit us both.
Life has a way of working things to be the best.
I met Stephen and loved him too.
I chose to marry Stephen and thus I have the greatest gifts of my life.
Amanda and Jason.
Les has always been there through it all.
We talked of trying to be together after I divorced.
I would not move to Austin.
I wanted my kids to be near their father. I did what I felt was best for them.
All parents do that, I believe. At least I tried to believe it.
Stephen is a wonderful father and now we have a grandson.
Zephyr Hendrix has a purpose in life.
Stephen is happy in his second marriage.
I do not intend to ever marry again.
I miss Leslie deeply and with all my heart.
I have loved him totally all these 32 years.
His brothers told me he NEVER stopped loving me. Even through two "awful marriages" and divorces. The say he NEVER spoke ill of me.
I have never stopped nor ever will stop loving Les.
Sometimes in life you do not get to be with your one true love.
There are many loves in life however.
Because of Leslie I learned that I am and was worth loving.
I sang to him, I held him, I kissed him as his last breath left his body. I saw his eyes go out as his soul left.
Last night I felt and went through his dreams with him. I told him I was staying the night with him and I would not leave him.
He sat up in bed, opened his eyes wide, looked directly into mine and said loudly "YES". Leslie has not been to talk or sit up for a couple of weeks now.
He sat up on Sunday to look at my grandson while I changed his diaper. He wanted to meet Zephyr. He had talked with my children through the years. He had visited us and stayed with me.
I cannot think of all the things I want to write about.
I am glad I was there at the beginning and at the end of his life.
I will be busy writing more of him.
Right now I am helping by locating pictures I can share of Les with his family.
The viewing is on Wednesday. The funeral for his body is on Thursday.
Les is not gone. He lives in my heart. He lives in my dreams and in my memories.
It is not often that one has a life love that they share.
We could not be together in life. We are always together in heart and soul.
His brothers told me I was his Redheaded Flame.
He was my Golden Sun with the Sky in his eyes.
This is something we always called each other.
Leslie Glenn Bavousett, I love you. I am glad your body is at rest and that your pain has ceased.
I was there to hold you to your freedom.
You are welcome to walk into my window anytime you want.
Thank you for all you were and are at this time.
Perfectly Spiritual and Forever My Golden Sun with the Sky.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
an amazing thing this Valentine's Day is....
I had my FIRST valentine gift when my exhusband and I delivered our daughter on Feb 16, 1982. A gift worth waiting for.
I had my SECOND Valentine gift from my exhusband and I delivered our son on Feb 17, 1983. A gift worth waiting for again.
My third Valentine gift was my grandson that I din't have to deliver NOR did I have to wait to receive this gift.
Zephyr (as all know) was born on January 9th.
He is JUST over a month old for this valentine's day (yes a Hallmark made holiday in the US)
This year after being divorced for almost 12 years..I also have a boyfriend!
Well not a boy at all :)
His name is Dan. I am really very comfortable with him and we talk a lot. He and I can be very honest with each other and I do love him. I think I am beginning to understand what love really is (the kind that is NOT family).
Time is flying by.
Soon...more pictures because I am babysitting Zephyr tonight!
what a valentine's gift I can give! LOL
I called both my kids today and my special niecy!
I did call my Momma too.
I will make more calls tonight to talk to those I could not reach while I was at work.
LOVE!!!!
I had my SECOND Valentine gift from my exhusband and I delivered our son on Feb 17, 1983. A gift worth waiting for again.
My third Valentine gift was my grandson that I din't have to deliver NOR did I have to wait to receive this gift.
Zephyr (as all know) was born on January 9th.
He is JUST over a month old for this valentine's day (yes a Hallmark made holiday in the US)
This year after being divorced for almost 12 years..I also have a boyfriend!
Well not a boy at all :)
His name is Dan. I am really very comfortable with him and we talk a lot. He and I can be very honest with each other and I do love him. I think I am beginning to understand what love really is (the kind that is NOT family).
Time is flying by.
Soon...more pictures because I am babysitting Zephyr tonight!
what a valentine's gift I can give! LOL
I called both my kids today and my special niecy!
I did call my Momma too.
I will make more calls tonight to talk to those I could not reach while I was at work.
LOVE!!!!
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