Moment of trying to find reality

There are these times of inquiry that make me wonder who is really there and who is really sane.

Meeting people from all walks of life and wondering who is really making an impact on my life.... or am I impacting on theirs.

Not making so much sense right now, What is this loneliness I feel? Not really a part of the world but still walking through it,
Would it really matter if I had an opinion or had a desire to fully integrate the lessons that I am experiencing?

To be in this body and in my mind can be rather confusing at times. I get the feeling that I am separated at times. Fell from the clouds and to walk on the earth. Then again....did I come from the earth to try and reach the sky?

At this time in my life...a small moment really.... I feel like I belong no where. I know that there are paths for me to walk on and to experience. I just don’t know where to find my balance.
I have wants and I have dreams, I even have hopes of fitting in to a life that I know is on the edge of my consciousness.

I am tired of TRYING to be something I am not and I don’t even know how to become what I am supposed to be. Don't know if there IS something I am supposed to be. I can only act as I feel at the moment. It hurts in my soul to be so confused and so wanting.

I hope that I can find the reality of me.

I am lost at the moment with a hole that seems to want to swallow me up into nothingness. A hard drive home tonight when all I wanted to do was keep on driving...anywhere. Ending up in a new place to start over where I am not known by others.

I dislike this moment in my mind. I wish I had the ability to touch my friends that know me so well. My family is there and available but I do not wish to let them know how deeply my mind is hurting...my emotions hurt. I ache for someone or something to hold me close and tell me it is going to be all right or even okay.

It will be different in the morning after sleep....and dreams that guide me.

Am I real or am I just a tape that doesn't have an end...just endlessly looping and playing the same song for a dancer that doesn't know when to rest?

Please my dear...just hold me and tell me I am okay?